BE DAZZLED

TJ Dillashaw, UFC 173

Amazing. TUF 14 runner-up TJ Dillashaw beating Renan Barao, one of MMA’s pound-for-pound best, was remarkable. The wrestler-turned-kickboxing-stud, undefeated for all of seven months, snapping the nine-year 33-fight unbeaten streak of the UFC bantamweight champion in May was amazing.

And there was no argument of luck. With footwork, cardio and the aid of a massive first-round overhand right, Dillashaw outclassed his Brazilian rival and then brought tears of happiness to his cornermen and teammates’ eyes by sealing the deal with a fifth-round TKO.

Having clearly learned nothing from last year’s championship challenges of Chris Weidman, Alexander Gustafsson and Johny Hendricks, folks weren’t optimistic about the Team Alpha Male padawan’s chances against the jedi-like skills of Barao.

Dillashaw flooring Barao in minutes suggested otherwise and he continued to pepper the champ with solid shots for the rest of the fight. Dropping Barao again in the fifth, with all of the previous rounds won, Dillashaw only needed a few more blows to convince referee Herb Dean he was the better man. Now, we wouldn’t want to say we called 2014’s biggest upset, but six months ago, in this very section, we mentioned Dillashaw and “championship caliber” in the same sentence after his routing of Mike Easton. Just saying.

MAN VS. FOOD

Daniel Cormier, UFC 173

You know how they say to never get between a predator and his food? Well, they do. Honestly. Come on, let’s not argue. Especially when we’d both rather be marveling at UFC light heavyweight Daniel Cormier’s 360-degree decimation of future UFC Hall of Famer Dan Henderson. Their fight at UFC 173 looked more like a Discovery Channel documentary: Cormier toying with his latest catch before ruthlessly finishing it off after 13 minutes of torture. It all started when ‘DC’ nearly slammed his fellow former Olympic wrestler through the Octagon floor in the opening seconds. Via ex-heavyweight Cormier’s imperious top game, Henderson had to endure a one-way stream of merciless blows to the body and answers for each of his many attempts at escape. The fact it finally ended with Cormier choking ‘Hendo’ out in the third says it all.

WHAT’S OLD IS NEW

Tito Ortiz, Bellator 120

Forget everything you know. The sky is blue? Poppycock. An octagon has eight sides? Mega lolzzz, someone should pay for feeding you these lies. Tito Ortiz, with only one win in eight attempts between 2013 and 2007, can’t win against top competition anymore? Fool, he can. And he proved it at Bellator 120 in May, albeit opposite Alexander Shlemenko, a middleweight fighting Ortiz at 205lb. Despite having a 17-year career in the books at 39 years of age, Ortiz looked brand new while celebrating arm-triangling his Russian adversary into unconsciousness in two minutes and 27 seconds. That’s MMA for you; predictably unpredictable.

ODDEST CUT

John Moraga, UFC Fight Night 42

On your personal day of judgement, (insert chosen deity) will ask you two questions. ‘Have you been a good boy/girl?’ And, ‘Did you see that disgusting cut on John Moraga’s nose at UFC Fight Night 42?’ Your answer will be, ‘I wish I hadn’t.’ Because how does John Dodson’s knee, thrown as part of an intended head kick, even do that? Actually smash, crush and contort Moraga’s beak so much it rips a clean hole in his right nostril so you can see all the way in. Allowing Dodson and his overly theatric, camera-friendly personality to ride off into the New Mexico night with the TKO victory.

MMA has seen worse unintentional incisions, but this one between the flyweight contenders sweeps the weirdness stakes: despite all that force being fed to his schnozz, and the exterior damage, Moraga later reported his nose wasn’t actually broken. Does not compute.

WORST JUDGING

Diego Sanchez vs. Ross Pearson, UFC Fight Night 42

Let’s think. There’s got to be an explanation for how the out-struck, out-wrestled and out-everything-ed Diego Sanchez earned a split decision (and a 30-27 score) against Ross Pearson at UFC Fight Night 42 in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Bias for hometown boy Sanchez? Maybe. Judge Jeff Collins confusing the lightweights’ identities on his 30-27 card? Sounds plausible, considering the circumstances. Those being Pearson’s slick counterstriking, his greater quantity of accurate strikes and him landing several blows that downed and/or rocked ‘The Nightmare’. In fairness, Sanchez made contact too, was the aggressor and depending on the angle it might have seemed his shots challenged Pearson’s equilibrium, but the rest was one-way traffic. Robbery? Well, Albuquerque’s crime rate is 53% higher than the US average...

MOST CONTROVERSY

Jackson vs. Lawal and Brooks vs. Chandler, Bellator 120

It’s not a big-time MMA pay-per-view without a sprinkling of controversy, as Bellator discovered with its first non-broadcast-TV card. Both the main, and co-main event ended with contentious judges’ decisions at Bellator 120 in May.

Will Brooks screwed up an intended Michael Chandler vs. Eddie Alvarez rubber match while standing in for the concussed Alvarez in the co-feature by taking a split call for the interim 155lb belt. Chandler easily had the first and second with takedowns, but the third belonged to Brooks’ powerful ground ‘n’ pound with the fourth and fifth both a toss-up.

Right afterward, ‘Rampage’ Jackson’s aggressive and successful stand-up won out over three stanzas against ‘King Mo’s consistent and dominant takedowns. To compound matters Lawal’s indignation at the scorecards led to him accusing Bellator boss Bjorn Rebney of “d**k riding” Jackson. Controversy, eh?

MOST PAINFUL LOSS

Jamie Varner, UFC 173

Who’s been kneed in the head while grounded in the final round of a WEC title fight? Got come-from-behind KO’d when inches from victory? And who fought nearly five minutes with a broken ankle? Against Donald Cerrone at WEC 38 in ‘09, Abel Trujillo in February and James Krause recently at UFC 173, the answer is bad fortune magnet Jamie Varner. Who in checking a Krause low kick, absorbed the blow on his ankle, fracturing two bones and then collapsed in a very uncomfortable-looking heap several times over the ensuing 4:21 while everyone tried to work out what was wrong. Despite his handicap, the former WEC champ had tried to put as much pressure on Krause as his ankle would allow, with no success, before the round’s end when he had to ‘fess up to the doctor about his injury and so lose by TKO. Tough break.

SNEAKIEST SUBMISSION

Mitch Clarke, UFC 173

Mitch Clarke is an MMA ninja who just happens to look like a xylophone player from a church band. The latter on account of his respectable haircut, soft eyes and cropped beard, the former due to him trapping Al Iaquinta in a D’Arce choke like a man who’s paid to be stealthier than stealth itself. After losing the first round then finding Iaquinta on top of him in the second, Clarke took advantage of his close proximity to the cage wall and Iaquinta weighing a Von Flue choke while between side control and north-south. Wrapping up his foe’s head and arm and pushing off the fence with his legs, Clarke snared Iaquinta in the D’Arce so fast he was asleep 10 seconds later. Beware all church musicians?

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