Issue 104

August 2013

It’s got more spinning than a housewife’s gym, and better knockouts than even a pub on St Patrick’s – it can only be one thing...

KEEP ON TRUCKING 

Junior Dos Santos, UFC 160

Junior Dos Santos and Mark Hunt must have sold their souls for the ability to channel truck-like force into their fists. They must. Because they were thumping each other with ungodly force in the co-main event of UFC 160. Former UFC heavyweight champion Dos Santos set the tone mid way through the first, knocking Mark Hunt off his feet with an immense overhand right that left the granite-chinned New Zealander wobbly for several minutes. One-time K-1 grand prix champ Hunt nearly got his own back with a left hook and a round two flurry against the fence, but in round three he would ultimately be on the receiving end of one of the most impressive knockouts in UFC history. After a rocking left hook of his own, Dos Santos pivoted on his left foot and hurled his right kick toward Hunt’s head, clipping the kickboxer on the cranium and tipping him onto his back. The worst part? Watching ‘Cigano’ fire a piston of a right into Hunt’s head as the ‘Super Samoan’ lay semi unconscious on the canvas. Hunt’s noggin rifled into the mat while the rest of the energy from the blow jolted through his body like a shock from a defibrillator before leaving him stone-cold KO’d.  

BALLS TO THE WALL

Roger Hollett and Fabio Maldonado, UFC on FX 8

Roger Hollett practically stapled Fabio Maldonado’s nuts through the Octagon fence with his poorly aimed spinning back kick at UFC on FX 8 in Southern Brazil. Considering it’s a strike that German UFC lightweight Dennis Siver breaks ribs with (Paul Kelly, UFC 105), it’s easy to see why Hollett’s caused Maldonado to writhe around in so much pain. Although ‘writhe’ mightn’t paint the full picture. Only a few seconds into their prelim bout 205lb’er Hollett accidentally drove his heel into eventual bout winner Maldonado’s groin as the Brazilian was backed up against the fence, causing the iron-chinned boxer to hit the deck. Which is where, in an effort to soothe his affliction, somewhat gracefully walked his feet up onto the Octagon wall with his back on the canvas then rolled on his shoulders onto his knees and performed a soulful Flashdance-esque back arch while grasping the cage. More jive than writhe. 

MIRROR, MIRROR

Vitor Belfort, UFC on FX 8

Mirror, mirror on the wall, which country produces the most spinning wheel-kick finishes of them all? Brazil. It’s the home nation of Junior Dos Santos, and by proxy his stoppage of Mark Hunt at UFC 160. It was also host to Vitor Belfort’s whipping KO-initiating kick on Luke Rockhold at UFC on FX 8 in May. Which looked highly similar to Edson Barboza’s FO World MMA Award-winning strike on Terry Etim at Rio’s UFC 142 in early 2012. Different foot, we grant you, and it didn’t have the same concussive effect (receiver Rockhold needed a few more blows before he was put out, Etim required none), but there’s no arguing three of the most spectacular strike stoppages in UFC history are a result of the samba state. The copy-cat influence of Barboza’s kick had almost evaporated before Belfort’s blow. So when you’re sick of the spinning kick craze in 12 months’ time you know who to blame. 

BEST BODY SHOTS

John Lineker, UFC on FX 8

Body shots are the new black. UFC flyweight Joseph Benavidez TKO’d Darren Uyenoyama with some in April, and 185lb champ Anderson Silva is closing fight cards with them at will. In May, John Lineker got in on the action, by torturing UFC on FX 8 opponent Azamat Gashimov’s torso with hooks and kicks for a second-round TKO. Dropped and rocked plenty in the prior round, Gashimov’s point deduction for grabbing the fence meant Lineker had at least a 10-8 in the books and the latter still threw for the finish in the second – which he got thanks to several large right-hook-body, left-hook-head helpings. And they say boxing is dead.

BIGGEST DOMINATION

Khabib Nurmagomedov, UFC 160

You need a different league of word for the degree to which Russian lightweight Khabib Nurmagomedov beat Abel Trujillo at UFC 160. Dominant doesn’t quite describe just how smothering, controlling and authoritative the afro wig-wearing wrestler was. And that was just the third round. In the first he challenged Trujillo with armbars and triangles while maintaining grappling dominance. In the second he rocked the Blackzilians product with a right before more ground ownership. In the third, a demoralized Trujillo hung onto the bell while ‘The Eagle’ pulled, tripped and pushed his opponent to the mat to notch his bout total of takedowns to a UFC record 21. Supreme might have been the word we were looking for.

WISH GRANTED

TJ Grant, UFC 160

For plenty of people, TJ Grant came out of nowhere. The former welterweight has been in the UFC for four years: spending six fights at 170lb and then putting together a four-fight win streak at lightweight before facing two-time title challenger Gray Maynard for number-one contendership. An opportunity the Canadian grabbed with both haymakers at UFC 160. Grant put Maynard on the floor with a right cross early in the first then tracked a survival-mode ‘Bully’ around the Octagon perimeter, landing anything he could to force the referee to stop the bout. From virtual anonymity to UFC lightweight contendership in 127 seconds. 

QUICKLY DOES IT

Cain Velasquez, UFC 160

Want to know the best part about watching Cain Velasquez win? The 0.6 seconds afterwards where he forgets he’s a Mexican fighting cyborg and accidentally celebrates. It’s the only time the human race he’s been sworn to entertain ever sees real emotion peek through his cold Terminator exterior. But, it’s his steely Skynet core that is responsible for his pragmatism. Why spend the three minutes and 36 seconds you took to defeat someone at UFC 146 when you could do it in 81 seconds at UFC 160? There’s no good reason not to. Which is why nearly one year to the day of his first time TKO’ing ‘Bigfoot’ Silva, Velasquez did it again – with a pin-point one-two and some follow-up punches on the floor in under 1:30. What Schwarzenegger one-liner did we imagine him saying after he was separated from Silva? ‘I did nothing. The pavement was his enemy.’ Because it’s just better that way. 

TWILIGHT ZONE

Lucas Martins and Jeremy Larsen, UFC on FX 8

The last time Brazilian UFC lightweight Lucas Martins was on these pages it was after being knocked out by Edson Barboza. At the same time we noted how eerily similar the pair looked. Well, Lucas Martins must be a fan of freaking us the hell out because he somehow KO’d Jeremy Larsen at UFC on FX 8 with what looked like the exact same strike Barboza stopped him with in January. Now, before you contact the authorities on account of Martins clearly being part of some alien super-race or cult of repetition and mimicry (as we did), it’s worth remembering it’s up for debate whether Martins knocked out UFC on FX 8 opponent Jeremy Larsen with a left or a right. What’s for sure is in both instances the bouts’ victors were backpedaling from attack next to the cage wall while they landed their fight-finishing strikes – a jab for Barboza, a one-two for Martins. Now, what was the one common element in both bouts (beside Martins)? Referee Mario Yamasaki. Interesting…