Issue 104
August 2013
The top 15 strangest moments in the history of the UFC Octagon
UFC 159
April 2013
Rounding off an apparently cursed evening (two earlier fights ended with eye pokes, one with a dislocated thumb) in bizarre, gruesome fashion, the seemingly unbeatable UFC light heavyweight champion Jon Jones was just seconds away from losing his title because of a grotesquely dislocated (at first thought broken) toe.
Had he not stopped 9–1 underdog Chael Sonnen when he did, Jones would have been the unfortunate victim of a doctor’s stoppage. Treated to an eye-watering close-up of the injured digit, viewers at home and the arena then witnessed an even more bizarre sight: Joe Rogan conducting a post-fight interview while a distracted but impressively professional Jones was sat on a stool being examined.
UFC 44
September 2003
In clearing up a messy UFC light heavyweight title picture with some style, a sprightly Randy Couture, just 40 years old at the time and the interim title holder, spanked longtime champion Tito Ortiz over five rounds at UFC 44. Literally, he spanked him.
In the last 30 seconds of the fight Couture, having thoroughly proven his mastery of a record-breaking champion 12 years his junior, added a little playful humiliation, slapping and punching his helpless opponent (the favorite going into the fight) on the butt until the final bell.
Completely frustrated, Ortiz jumped to his feet at the final bell, shouting, swearing and crying just as commentator Joe Rogan announced in one of his most memorable statements ever: “That guy is my hero!” Randy that is, not Tito. Obviously.
UFC 83
April 2008
There was a time when Canada’s Kalib Starnes was a reasonably talented middleweight, rather than an unwilling figure of fun. A contestant on the talent-rich third season of The Ultimate Fighter, Starnes held victories over Jason MacDonald and Chris Leben. But then he fought Nate Quarry in one of the most baffling fights in UFC history.
Quarry was hardly the most feared man in the sport but Starnes, fighting in his home country, before the then-biggest crowd in UFC history, spent the entire fight backpedaling, ducking, avoiding and even turning tail and fleeing.
So appalling was Starnes’ performance in Montreal (which no one has even now been able to adequately explain) that one judge scored the fight 30-24, despite a visibly frustrated Quarry rarely landing with anything. Funnily enough, Starnes was fired by the promotion and never returned.
UFC 34
November 2001
UFC 34 had more than its share of strange moments. In a lightweight title eliminator, the highly touted BJ Penn, a 22-year-old Brazilian jiu-jitsu ‘Prodigy’, faced Caol Uno, a hugely talented former Shooto world champion who had gone five rounds with Jens Pulver at UFC 30 to decide the first champion. Penn obliterated Uno in 11 seconds with punches against the cage before bowing to the audience and then running to the backstage area in what remains one of the outright weirdest victory celebrations ever.
UFC 134
August 2011
The first UFC show in Brazil since 1998 didn’t disappoint. A packed, rabid crowd witnessed national fighting hero Anderson Silva easily outclassing Yushin Okami, Mauricio ‘Shogun’ Rua battering Forrest Griffin and, in the event’s most dramatic fight, Rousimar Palhares’ joyous victory celebration. The only problem for Palhares? The fight wasn’t over.
Convinced he’d finished Dan Miller with a head kick and follow-up punches on the ground, he jumped up onto the fence in celebration, but referee Herb Dean hadn’t actually stopped the fight. Confusion cleared up, Miller floored Palhares before the end of the round and they went on to battle for three stanzas of dramatic, exhausting action with Palhares earning a clear decision victory.
UFC 87
August 2008
A much-ballyhooed UFC signing, long-time Pride FC veteran Heath Herring had failed to impress in the Octagon. Boring decision wins over Brad Imes and Cheick Kongo, his dismal non-performance (complete with whiny post-fight interview) against wrestler Jake O’ Brien and his complete, and inexplicable failure to capitalize on a badly stunned Antonio Rodrigo Nogueria that likely cost him the biggest win of his life, all led him to a fight with the monstrous Brock Lesnar in Minneapolis.
Moments before Herring was simply manhandled and mauled by the former WWE superstar, referee Dan Miragliotta (a mountain of a man, himself) managed, while carelessly waving his hands around during pre-fight instructions, to poke the unfortunate fighter in the eye in a very rare case of a fighter being injured by the third man in the cage.
UFC 45
November 2003
The words ‘protect yourself at all times’ usually apply to the fighters, not the officials. Yes, the occasional dazed competitor tries in a confused manner to take down or submit the wrong man (as ‘Babalu’ Sobral did at UFC 62 when ref John McCarthy’s reward for a well-timed stoppage was being on the receiving end of a fumbling leglock attempt) but only once in UFC history has a fighter deliberately attacked the official.
Angered by referee Larry Landless’ somewhat debatable stoppage of his fight with the late Evan Tanner and the apparent miscommunication that led to it, Phil Baroni threw a few weak punches from his back that hit the official, prompting a furious Dana White to run in and give the hot-headed fan favorite the talking to of his life.
UFC: Fight for the Troops
December 2008
One Oxford English Dictionary definition of ‘irony’ reads “an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often wryly amusing as a result.” To illustrate the point, the editors might think about noting the UFC’s event in aid of the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund’s project to build a hospital for American military personnel with traumatic injuries.
Raising some $4 million, the evening’s action also sent six fighters to the hospital, far more than most UFC shows. With Nate Loughran’s cut eye and rib injury, Jonathan Goulet’s concussion and elbow injury, Corey Hill’s gruesomely broken leg, Razak Al-Hassan’s dislocated elbow, Brandon Wolff’s grotesquely swollen face and the terrifying, concussion-inducing knockout suffered by Yoshiyuki Yoshida, local medical staff would have had a busy night.
UFC 24
March 2000
Held in the dark days of shrill political and media opposition and new, untested commission regulation, UFC 24 was to showcase the first heavyweight title defense by Kevin Randleman. Scheduled to face undefeated Brazilian wrecking machine Pedro Rizzo, Randleman’s backstage warm-up led to disaster.
Stepping on a pipe, he fell, injuring his shoulder and cracking his head on a concrete floor. With doctors suspecting a concussion, Randleman was barred from fighting. Suddenly informed late in the show (as were the viewers at home) that there would be no title match main event, the live crowd let loose with a tremendous barrage of boos.
Randleman and Rizzo would fight three months later at UFC 26 with the American winning a decision in a pitifully negative fight that enraged the audience so much they bombarded the cage with rubbish. The fans in Lake Charles, Louisiana, who missed it may actually have been the lucky ones.
UFC 35
January 2002
Let’s gloss over this one quickly, shall we? Hammerhouse wrestler Kevin Randleman makes his second of three appearances on this list, this time for fouling himself in the midst of a fight with Renato ‘Babalu’ Sobral. And no, ‘fouling’ doesn’t mean poking himself in the eye or kicking himself in the family jewels.
Randleman, suffering from the diarrhoea/vomiting virus that had swept through the Mohegan Sun Casino and afflicted so many of the night’s fighters and UFC crew, had an unfortunate lapse of sphincteral discipline on the way to claiming a decision victory in an understandably terrible fight.
The much-maligned former UFC heavy champ Tim Sylvia even had a similar accident in his fittingly execrable Ultimate Fight Night 3 main event decision win over Assuerio Silva four years later.
UFC 133
August 2011
Earning a hefty bonus for finishing an opponent in crowd-pleasing style is hardly new, but pocketing some extra cash for getting your opponent’s offensive clothing off the pay-per-view broadcast is. Yet that’s exactly how Dana White explained the $70,000 bonus he paid to Brian Ebersole – an entertaining character in his own right who moved to Australia to pursue his MMA career after having his California license unfairly revoked in 2006 for his in-fight antics – for finishing the eccentric Dennis Hallman in the first round.
Hallman’s crime? His teeny-weeny bodybuilder posing trunks, which couldn’t adequately contain everything they needed to, inspiring one of the oddest online uproars (and think of the ground that covers) in the history of the sport: ‘Ballgate.’
UFC 11
September 1996
A truly terrifying ground ‘n’ pounding specimen of a powerhouse wrestler, Mark Coleman blitzed both opponents en route to the UFC 11 tournament final, much as he had just 69 days earlier at UFC 10. On the other side of the bracket, alternate Scott Ferrozzo had replaced an injured Jerry Bohlander for a semi-final showdown with Tank Abbott.
After 18 minutes of what looked like angry manatees mauling one another, winner Ferrozzo and loser Abbott were spent. Remaining alternate Roberto Traven claimed a broken hand, and both Ferrozzo and Abbott turned down another shot, leaving a fired-up Coleman to angrily accept the winner’s check.
Off camera, Coleman and training partner Kevin Randleman treated the live crowd to an exhibition of wrestling throws and suplexes. Launching one another all over the Octagon, essentially doing the kind of MMA-flavored pro wrestling that both would do very well in years later in Japan.
UFC 34
November 2001
Back at UFC 34, Hall of Famer Matt Hughes won his first UFC 170lb title from Carlos Newton, conqueror of Hughes’ trainer and mentor Pat Miletich for the championship a few months earlier. Lifting Newton up for a powerbomb to counter the Canadian’s triangle choke, Hughes slammed him to the mat. Diving in, referee John McCarthy looked at the unconscious Newton and stopped the fight in favor of Hughes, not realizing the dazed and confused winner had been squeezed unconscious just as he dropped Newton to the mat.
Had ‘Big’ John been looking in the other direction, he’d perhaps have awarded Newton the fight instead in what remains, almost 12 years later, one of the strangest endings in history.
UFC 46
January 2004
In the last two decades, hundreds of men (and a few women) have competed in thousands of UFC fights. But only the inconsistent yet talented Vitor Belfort has ever won a fight by slicing open their opponent’s eyelid with a grazing punch where the stitching of the glove did its freakish damage.
Even more unusually, ‘The Phenom’ won the UFC light heavyweight title from Randy Couture in one of the most unsatisfying title fights in the sport’s history. Entering the arena wearing a T-shirt highlighting the search for his missing sister Priscilla (she went missing earlier that month and, tragically, has never been found), Belfort won the title in the oddest, flukiest way.
The inevitable rematch took place eight months later and Couture battered him to a bloody, three-round TKO defeat, despite Belfort at one point appearing to go for one of the most blatant eye gouges in UFC history.
UFC 43
June 2003
Few wrestlers of his, or anyone else’s era, have brought quite such a track record of wrestling success into the cage as Matt Lindland. A Greco-Roman silver medalist at the 2000 Olympics, ‘The Law’ also boasted a clutch of silvers and golds from other international wrestling tournaments.
In hoisting Falaniko Vitale skywards only to stumble and fall down, being knocked out by the crushing combination of the mat and Vitale’s head, Lindland suffered the second loss of his career – the first being his controversial UFC 37 fight with Murilo Bustamante – to the unremarkable Hawaiian.
Few takedowns in UFC history have ever gone so badly for such a talented wrestler, though Lindland did convincingly win a rematch five months later.
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