BEST KNOCKOUT

Brad Pickett, UFC on Fuel TV 5

Few things are as physically pleasing to perform as a good, hard, solid uppercut. British bantamweight boxer Brad Pickett would agree, presumably, considering it’s what he used to dispatch of wily Haitian-Canadian kickboxer Yves Jabouin in September. The UFC on Fuel TV 5 ‘Knockout of the Night’ owner had been ploughing his left hook toward Jabouin’s head for the majority of the 3:40 fight before he unleashed a right uppercut from his belt that found Jabouin’s button. The fact Pickett then busted out the equestrian-themed ‘Gangnam’ dance of Korean pop star Psy as a celebration took the biscuit.

YO, ADRIAN!

Jimi Manuwa and Kyle Kingsbury, UFC on Fuel TV 5

London-based stand-up assassin Jimi Manuwa pretty much obliterated Kyle Kingsbury’s left eye socket at UFC on Fuel TV 5 in Nottingham, England. Aside from spending a bit of time on his back for the two rounds the fight lasted, Manuwa occupied himself for the remainder by unleashing some frighteningly powerful punches, knees and kicks to the face and body of the AKA light heavyweight. By the end of the first Kingsbury’s eye was grotesquely swollen, and by the close of the second it was so close to looking like a Photoshop joke the doctor called the bout off.

ALMOST MIND-MELTING

Jon Jones and Vitor Belfort, UFC 152

FO’s cerebral cortex is still recovering from having to comprehend for all of a handful of seconds that Jon Jones might lose his UFC light heavyweight title by armbar to late replacement, and middleweight, Vitor Belfort at UFC 152. The unthinkable happened early in the first round when Belfort turned a tight left-side underhook on an in-guard Jones into the submission that nearly caused the MMA world to start atoning for its sins due to what was most likely a cue for the apocalypse – such was the expectation that Jones would retain his title. Which he did, of course, in the fourth with an americana. Which was less mind blowing.

SWEETEST ARMBAR

Vinny Magalhaes, UFC 152

You don’t get hired by FO sister magazine Train Hard Fight Easy to be its resident Brazilian jiu-jitsu expert without knowing how to do a couple of forward rolls and pull a man’s arm against your groin – if you know what we mean. Actually, if you do know what we mean, congratulations, because we’re unsure. But, we do know UFC light heavyweight Vinny Magalhaes (which is who we were referring to earlier, by the way) can pull out a pretty sweet armbar, and especially against UFC 152 opponent Igor Pokrajac. He did it in round two, even perfectly rolling Pokrajac into fight-finishing position when he tried to escape.

QUICK-OTINE

Justin Edwards, UFC on FX 5

C’mon, Justin Edwards’ 45-second guillotine finish of Josh Neer at UFC on FX 5 was faster than the 129 and 139-second guillotines in 2006 that allowed Mike Swick use of the ‘Swick-otine’ moniker. Sure, Edwards is six years late to the party but doesn’t he deserve a snappy, though similar, tag like ‘Quick-otine’? Why would you take that away from the guy? There’s no need to be mean; we’re all friends here. Anyway, that’s exactly what Edwards did; took a Neer takedown and turned it into a guillotine win. Pretty impressive, we think at least…

MOST PAINFUL ENDING

Thiago Santos and Eric Prindle, Bellator 75

We cannot imagine what taking an axe kick to the groin while lying on the deck feels like. Judging by Thiago Santos’ reaction when Eric Prindle did exactly that in the first round of the main event at Bellator 75, it is a sensation akin to taking a sledgehammer to the jewels. In fact, Santos was in so much pain he couldn’t continue. Ironically, the pair’s first match was called off after Santos belted Prindle in the balls last year, and then two successive matchups were called off due to injury, then a failure to make weight. Still, this time, Santos got the DQ win, so it was totally all worth it… right?

MOST ILL-ADVISED ACTIONS

Travis Browne, UFC on FX 5

Don’t get us wrong, we’re all for six-foot-seven heavyweights busting out the moves. Like in the main event of UFC on FX 5 when Travis Browne was all, ‘I’m going to hit you in the face with a spinning wheel kick despite my enormous frame, Antonio ‘Bigfoot’ Silva.’ It was all quite exciting, until Browne busted his left hamstring (apparently caused by a high kick attempt). That put a stop to it all, and, you could say, contributed to him being in such a position where Bigfoot was able to crack him with a massive right hand which started a TKO onslaught, and a Silva win. Guess that’s why they call that stuff high risk, low reward.

BEST COMEBACK

Michael Johnson, UFC on FX 5

Comeback wins are like tasty, tasty nectar to us at FO. If there were a comeback teat we would suckle at it. So, as you might imagine, when Michael Johnson knocked out Danny Castillo in the second round at UFC on FX 5 after being knocked to the floor in the first, we were slightly buzzed – on account of all the nectar. All thanks to Johnson countering a right low-kick with an awkward left hand that dropped Castillo, and throwing some rights on the canvas, which finished the job. Delicious.

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