Issue 082

December 2011

The life of a fighter is a complex one, made up of years of preparation in the gym, months of dieting, weeks of weight cutting and long days of training. The ups and downs associated with injuries, canceled fights, wins and losses can wreak havoc on their emotions which are compounded by either the financial strains of being a full-time fighter or the physical and emotional drain of working a nine-to-five, while trying to make sure they make it to the gym as much as their peers.

It’s amazing that some fighters are able to maintain a family life while climbing the ranks and carving out a career in the cage, but alas several do so and do it well. One key component to sustainable success as a fighter is having a strong support system at home, especially since being a fighter isn’t a typical eight-hour-a-day job and constant travel to events and training facilities leave little in the way of family time.

When Chris Lytle retired following his UFC on Versus 5 win over Dan Hardy in August, the longtime UFC welterweight said that one of the toughest sacrifices of being a fighter was all the time he had to spend away from his wife and kids preparing for his 54 MMA and 15 boxing bouts and while holding down a full-time job as an Indianapolis firefighter. Lytle said he couldn’t have done it without his wife, who held down the fort and took care of things on the home front. His situation is not unlike most fighters whose wives have always kept the family unit and household running while they’re away – both mentally and physically – preparing for fights.

But what if the female half of the marriage – the one whose role has traditionally been that of nurturer and household manager – is the one, or one of the two who is punching faces and twisting limbs in the cage? How do these couples manage to keep the status quo when it comes to their professional and personal lives?

We decided to discuss the challenges and benefits of the lives of MMA husbands with a few couples who know a thing or two about the subject – namely Cris and Evangelista “Cyborg” Santos, Zoila and Jorge Gurgel and Barb Honchak and Timm Beeman.

Honchak and Beeman are a rarity in the sport in that only Barb, who sheepishly admits she was too lazy to change her name after getting married, competes in the sport. Tim is hoping to one day take at least one professional fight if only to gain a better understanding of what his wife goes through psychologically when preparing for and competing in fights, but until he graduates and begins work in December as a nurse anesthetist, he doesn’t have enough time to train to fight. 

Typically, fighters, especially those at the top echelons of the sport don’t have a lot of time for socializing or dating and many end up marrying teammates or trainers. Honchak, who is widely ranked number three behind Cat Zingano and Tara LaRosa in the female flyweight division, discovered the sport almost by accident after being introduced to it by roommates she and Timm had five or six years ago, who trained and followed the sport. After an injury left her husband unable to take the remaining jiu-jitsu classes he had paid for, she began training in his place and quickly fell in love with combat sports. 

Since, she has spent the past four years developing as a fighter and learning the intricacies of the sport with Timm at her side and in her corner. And she admits that she isn’t sure she could do it without him since he knows her better than anyone after 14 years together as a couple.

“He can’t get sick. I’ve told him that,” she says, as serious as a heart attack. “He can sit in the corner with a bucket and a blanket if he has the flu, but I need him there.”

Beeman, who does double-duty as Honchak’s trainer and manager, says it would take a lot more than an illness to keep him away from his wife’s fights and admits that in spite of the fact he surprisingly doesn’t get nervous watching her fight, he is equally, if not more, obsessive about every other aspect of Barb’s career.

“I think it’s because I’ve been there in the corner of a lot of fighters and I know when she’s en route to winning a fight, but I don’t get nervous,” he says. 

“That and he knows getting punched in the face doesn’t bother me,” Honchak interrupts with a chuckle.

“And there’s that,” he counters. “But I also think it’s because I know how good she is and what she’s capable of. I watch tons of tape, like literally hours and hours of women’s fights, and I’m constantly looking for our next opponent – who will give us a good fight and possibly help us climb the ladder. I try to take care of everything so she only has to worry about going to the gym and training and going out and fighting.”

Sure, he takes some ribbing from friends on occasion, like when Barb is sporting a black eye and strangers in restaurants and airports seem to be watching them suspiciously as if he’s Ike and she’s Tina Turner, but Beeman doesn’t feel emasculated in the least by the fact his wife is the one who wears the fight shorts in the family.

“Not at all. I’ll probably fight one day, but it really isn’t a big deal to me even if I don’t. I’m comfortable in my role as a coach and if I fight, I fight,” he explains. “I’m very happy to be able to do what I can to ensure that Barb take this as far as she can.”

Jorge Gurgel is on the same page as Beeman, but the difference is his wife – whom he met at a Strikeforce photo shoot and has been with pretty much ever since – was more reluctant to accept his help.

“Zoila is a very independent woman and because she always did everything for herself, she said she didn’t want my help when I offered for her to train full-time and not work. I told her, ‘Baby, you can’t do it all yourself. You need to let people help you.’ It took a while, but eventually she gave in, but at first she wouldn’t even use my credit card when I gave it to her,” he recalls. “I believe in her and I just want to give her the best opportunity to reach her full potential and anything I can do to make sure that happens, I will.”

Now Zoila accepts any help and advice her husband offers her and has been unbeatable under his tutelage as her coach and since taking his last name. Like Beeman, Gurgel says that he doesn’t get nervous watching his wife fight because he’s cornered so many fighters including his longtime friend and former UFC middleweight champion Rich Franklin. Zoila on the other hand, he admits, has a tough time watching his fights.

“She definitely gets nervous watching me fight, but so do all my coaches. That’s how it is for all my fights, because they’re so unpredictable.”

Zoila agrees wholeheartedly.

“I thought I was going to throw up watching his last fight,” she explains, referring to his Strikeforce Challengers 18 loss to Joe Duarte in August. “I don’t even get that nervous watching my sister fight.”

Although he says he isn’t competitive in the least when it comes to fighting and non-fighting-related activities he does with his wife, who also happens to be the current Bellator Fighting Championships’ women’s strawweight champion, Gurgel says that he is profusely proud of her accomplishments and says it wouldn’t matter to him if he never reached the same level of success in his fighting career.

“She is so talented and so strong; I don’t know where her power and strength comes from. We joke around in the gym when she’s hitting the bag or sparring that it’s ‘Zoila smash.’ She must have childhood issues or something, man, because she punches and kicks to hurt people,” Gurgel exclaims. “She is so talented and so motivated to win that nobody will beat her. I truly believe that, and I’m not just saying that because she’s my wife.”

Mrs Gurgel shrugs off the compliment from her husband. “You know, everyone always asks us who gets the better of the other in the gym and I’m like, ‘Hello, he’s a man,’” Zoila laughs. “Jorge is so talented and he doesn’t get the credit he deserves for being such a good coach as well as being a great fighter.”

Cris Santos says that without her husband, whom she met soon after joining the Chute Boxe academy several years ago, she likely wouldn’t have become the Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion. She believes that his experience and level-headedness has kept her training and career on track and that their “bonding sessions” in the gym have brought them closer as a couple, even when there is stress related to the emotions that fighting inevitably brings out.

“Evangelista and I always train together, pushing each other when one of us gets tired. Evangelista has much more experience in the world of MMA and he helps keep me motivated and I do the same for him. He’s my coach, so of course he is concerned for me when I fight, but he is a professional as well. He wants me to do well and to be safe. I always like to train hard and train with stronger people as this makes me a better fighter and sometimes we get hurt; it’s the consequences of training like you fight,” Santos points out. “He’s never had to have anyone lighten up on me, though. We do the same things -- training, diet, fighting, so we know what the other is feeling pretty much at all times. It makes us closer than if we didn’t fight. Being together 24 hours a day before a fight is tough. For a marriage it can be difficult, but with the blessing of God everything is possible.”

A common thread that binds all three couples is their shared belief that without each other their careers would likely not be nearly as successful and a truism that emerges is that behind each of these great women fighters is a great man.