Issue 069

November 2010

Welcome to my first installment in Fighters Only Magazine! Think of it as your guide to life through the eyes of someone that hits people for money, really enjoys a good cup of tea and wishes zombies were real. 

It’s been a busy few months since my last fight but I’m back to the reality of training camp now. The schedule and muscle ache is comforting in a way. It’s great to be aiming toward a target again. I’ve spent the last few months in Los Angeles with Eddie Bravo at 10th Planet, working on some of the areas that Monsieur St Pierre exploited in March. I’ve also been working with Mac Danzig and the guys at PKG – ‘Punch, Kick, Grapple’, one of LA’s top MMA gyms – learning about a thing they call “wrestling”. 

The UFC have also kept me busy doing appearances, so I’ve been traveling quite a bit. Mainly to Vegas, but I’ve made it out to Canada a couple of times, which was wild on both occasions. After Mac’s fight in Vancouver we headed to a Xyience party I was making an appearance at, and left after 20 minutes due to being grabbed and pulled in every direction. I don’t deal very well with drunken guys grabbing me and yelling in my ear, spraying the side of my face with alcohol and spit. This usually happens while his equally drunken mate looks at his phone like a monkey with a packet of peanuts it can’t open, trying to figure out how to get the camera to work. 

I also had one guy line up for three hours outside of a store signing to tell me he “didn’t want my autograph because he hated me,” to which Kurt Pellegrino replied: “If you are going to be a d**k, I want my autograph back!” I’ve had some interesting conversations with, and made friends of, a few fighters, every one of them being very cool. 

Roy Nelson is one of them, a man I think might be able to rival me in an eating contest. And Tom Lawlor, who’s as funny as his ring antics would suggest. We spent a good part of the night mimicking one of the male podium dancers at Wanderlei’s birthday party, who kept throwing the worst kicks and punches in time with the music.

Now I’m back in Nottingham with the Rough House boys, getting sharp for that skinny, pale kid from the WEC [Carlos Condit, who Dan fights at UFC 120 – Ed]. I’ve stocked up on the important supplies needed for training camp: the Only Fools and Horses boxed set, two deactivated guns and 300 vinyl records. You think I’m joking again? I’m on a ‘60s kick at the moment, listening to The Doors, Bob Dylan and Hendrix. 

I also bought a guitar with the intention of learning to play it during end of training camp. Although after a day of being punched by Paul ‘Semtex’ Daley and thrown around by Jimmy Wallhead, I can’t seem to find the energy to pick it up. I’ve also been terrorizing my weight class on the UFC game and playing Left for Dead 2, hence the zombie shout-out earlier. 

When heading into a training camp like this, I find it important to have plenty of good music and movie entertainment. This is one of the many ways I keep myself from slapping people that chew with their mouths open or drive 10mph below the speed limit. My tunes on the way to training this week have been My Generation by The Who and You Really Got Me by The Kinks. If you can’t hear these songs playing in your head right now, buy them, download them, steal them. Their sheer awesomeness alone will make you destroy anything you own that has been in the charts in the past ten years, with the exception of Rage Against the Machine’s UK Christmas number one. 

That was a triumphant day for social networking sites such as Myface and Spacebook: finally they had a use other than stalking your old girlfriends from school! Even though I detest logging on each day to sift through the nonsense, they do have some uses. It’s great to hear from fans, I just wish I could claim back the hours each day spent staring at my laptop. I could use them so much better! I do enjoy training camp for the most part and usually I wake up with enthusiasm for another day at the grind. Every now and then though, reaching over to turn the alarm clock off is way more painful that it should be and you need a dose of The Casualties to get you started. 

Fortunately, having to help Mac Danzig and a few of the other guys get ready for fights has kept me in decent shape. That, and the warning from Ollie Richardson (at fighterstrength.com) that he will move into my apartment and guard the fridge if I come back at over 200lb. One of the best things about getting an ass-kicking on TV is that is gets you refocused on training for improvement. All too often you see fighters that stop evolving halfway through their career, and the occasional beating is a good reminder to keep learning new things. Everything seems to have fallen right into place for this camp and I’m feeling confident that on October 16th I’ll be in the best shape I’ve ever been. I might even be able to see my abs. I’ve always wondered what they look like.

Interesting fact of the day: for those of us that enjoy real punk-rock, Henry Rollins of Black Flag and Rollins Band is the guy that does the voice-over for the UFC Primetime shows! Even if you don’t like his music, everyone should check out his spoken word stuff. If you don’t find his story about the time he knocked himself out while onstage in Brazil funny, we probably wouldn’t get along! 

Thanks for making your way through; say your vitamins and eat your prayers and I’ll catch you later.