Issue 048

April 2009

MMA fandom spreads like a virus. It is almost impossible, once exposed and receptive to the bug, not to try and pass it on to as many people as possible. 

The simplest way to do so is the old, ‘come and look at this awesome fight’ trick, where you show your sceptical / previously disinterested friend something so fantastically memorable or entertaining that they just can’t help but ask to see more. But what fights do you show them? There are plenty of classics out there, but only a complete fool would try and make said friends watch the 90-minute epic between Royce Gracie and Kazushi Sakuraba. The key is something exciting, usually brief, with an unforgettable ending or something you simply can’t see in any other sport. This month Andrew Garvey digs up a few to think about. 

1 Fedor Emelianenko vs Kevin Randleman 

(Pride: Critical Countdown, 20 June 2004)

One of the fights that spawned the legend of Emelianenko as some kind of inhuman machine of unstoppable, emotionless destruction, this one goes barely more than 90 seconds. But it has that crucial, never-to-be-forgotten visual of the podgy Russian being suplexed up and backwards and dropped right on his head by the muscled Randleman. Shrugging off the crippling landing and quickly manoeuvring into position for the decisive kimura armlock, Fedor was just jaw-droppingly magnificent. Highly recommended to prove the effectiveness of submissions, to show that the most imposing looking fighter isn’t necessarily the best, and that Emelianenko is a very special athlete. 

2 Clay Guida vs Roger Huerta 

(UFC Ultimate Fighter 6 Finale, 8 December 2007) 

Frenetic wildman Clay Guida just had to be on this list somewhere. Featuring some hefty takedowns and dominating wrestling by Guida, and plenty of punches, kicks, and knees by Huerta, this was just an incredible fight. Some eleven and a half minutes of almost every conceivable attack known to the sport, Guida’s trademark relentless pace, and a decisive comeback and submission finish in Huerta’s favour, this was one of the best fights of 2007 and an absolute must-see that rewards repeated viewing for any MMA fan.

3 Keith Jardine vs Houston Alexander 

(UFC 71, 26 May 2007)

Quite likely the greatest 48-second fight in MMA history, few matches are as explosive and action-packed as the then-unknown Alexander’s UFC debut. Wobbled almost immediately, Alexander fired back with a barrage of vicious shots at the swinging Jardine, ending with an incredible uppercut that lifted ‘The Dean of Mean’ into the air before gravity sent him crashing to the canvas in a thoroughly beaten heap. If your mates don’t like this one, then just don’t bother mentioning MMA again. They simply won’t get it, ever. 

4 Tank Abbott vs Kimbo Slice

(EliteXC: Street Certified, 16 February 2008)

While the fighting purists out there may be outraged at this selection, there’s a very good reason for its inclusion here. Quite simply, this was a fantastically entertaining spectacle. A pair of walking, talking, cartoon characters with few fighting skills but heavy hands and a willingness to whale away at each other until one of them fell, as Abbott did after 43 seconds. This one was just fun, and one of the most joyous, raucous brawls in MMA history. It also boasted an insanely overexcited crowd cheering on Kimbo’s every move; the back story of both men’s near-mythical status as street-fighting legends; outrageous beards; gold teeth (Kimbo); a bulbous gut (Tank); and the memorable sight of an unconscious Abbott falling face-first to the mat.

5 Donald Cerrone vs Rob McCullough 

(WEC 36, 5 November 2008)

The only fight on this list to go the distance, this one features an amazing five, yes, five knockdowns in the first-round alone. A three-round stand-up war for the most part, eventual winner Cerrone also treated ‘Razor Rob’ (and the audience) to some great armbar and triangle attempts, with a few lightning-fast takedowns thrown in for good measure. For the sheer variety of action and for the tremendous display of conditioning and guts by both fighters, this the perfect fight to showcase the undeniable greatness of the WEC, lightweight fighters, and the sport in general.