Issue 099
March 2013
The soundtrack to a thousand soccer kicks, ‘The Fight Professor’ is best known for his mastery on the mic, but his gaming achievements are equally as impressive
FO understands you’re quite the gamer, right?
“I have one console and it’s a PlayStation 3. But I originally got it because I wanted a Blu-ray player, and I’d heard the best ones were in the PlayStation 3. So I thought I’d buy a couple of video games, I mean, I hadn’t really played games properly in years.”
What titles did you pick up then?
“Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, Grand Theft Auto 4 and the first Uncharted game. At first I started playing Grand Theft Auto, but I was really struggling with the controls. I mean just driving down the street, I was veering all over the place and after two days I’d had enough. I put it aside for about three weeks and then I started beating up on myself and I knew I needed to focus so I sat down and was determined to master it.”
I’d like to think in the film version of this story there’d be a montage at this point.
“(Laughs) I’d have to run up a hill with it strapped to my back. I got the hang of it pretty fast when I set my mind to it, though, and I started unlocking more missions and completing all of these fairly politically incorrect missions.
“I moved on to Uncharted after that and I was blown away by the vastness of the whole thing. I thought it was maybe some kind of National Geographic type thing but it was a huge sprawling adventure that quickly got me hooked.”
You talked before about not playing properly for a number of years. Where did it all come from originally?
“I went up to Northern California to visit some friends and relatives back in the early 1990s. My ex wife’s sister was married to a guy who had a couple of sons and they had a Super Nintendo. They were playing this game Mortal Kombat. I was watching them play and at the time I was training with Benny Urquidez and Pete Cunningham so I figured, ‘I’m a martial artist, I’ll show these guys what’s up.’ I got the controller and they kicked my ass and it was a lot of fun, but when all was said and done I was still getting my ass kicked.”
That sounds harsh.
“I got home, bought a Super Nintendo and practised for a year and headed up there to get my revenge but, as it happened, they’d been practising too. I got another ass kicking, went home and sold the damn thing!”
QUICKFIRE
Sega or Nintendo?
Nintendo
Sony or Microsoft?
Sony
Three games on a desert island?
“Metal Gear Solid 4, Uncharted 2, Dead Space 2.”
Video Game History of MMA: The Soviet Suplex Machine
UFC newcomer Rustam Khabilov had GIF makers compressing and converting files at a rate of knots in December, with his unreal collection of suplexes at the TUF 16 Finale.
The Twitter-verse imploded in the wake of the Russian’s explosive entry to the UFC, but Khabilov is merely the latest in a long line of Soviet slam masters.
‘The Red Cyclone’ Zangief first hit the tournament fighting scene in the early ’90s and few could have predicted the path of destruction that he cleaved in his wake.
An outsider in the prodigious Street Fighter tournament, few were able to deal with the grappling dominance of the Russian as he hit a selection of bone jarring takedowns that had spectators awestruck in disbelief.
His coup de grace though was a ferocious spinning piledriver that would lead the Soviet destroyer on to countless victories, presumably due to lax regulations on spiking, and leave potential foes with little options other than sticking and moving from the outside.
As ruthless as Zangief was in action, however, even he would struggle to match the ice-cold verbal delivery of Khabilov, who spoke in a manner Ivan Drago would have been proud of about his role as a professional fighter. “My job is to throw him, how he lands is his business!”
1. Seven feet tall, 256lb and carved out of granite? Pay attention Stefan Struve, anything is possible.
2. It looks pretty fearsome but odds are that ‘Minotauro’ Nogueira would take the piledriver and then pull guard.
3. Short ride, terrible landing. Surely nobody needs to get suplexed on that decking.
4. Not satisfied with the concussion, Zangief already has plans for a traumatic rematch.
LAUZON’S best bits
Geek and UFC 155lb contender Joe Lauzon shares morsels from his life in video games
Lauzon on creating the perfect game...
“There are so many elements that go into making the right game that, even though the technology is easier to get hold of, there are just way too many variables. It’s not enough to just have a great idea any more; the execution of it is what makes all the difference and the big studios can put millions into making that game as perfect
as possible.”
SEPARATED AT BIRTH
Oli Thompson & Ivan
There are two types of bearded strong men in this world; those who can transform into bears and those who cannot. That’s pretty much the only difference between herculean lifter turned MMA heavyweight powerhouse Oli Thompson and Ivan, the token bearded monster from Konami’s Metamorphic Force. Both throw a mean right hook but only one will attack a tourist without any indication. You have been warned.
