Issue 176

March 2019

The UFC lightweight wants to move the story on, be a role model and help others.

Being born and raised in Queens, what is your favorite childhood memory?

Probably the first time I watched the UFC, which was the very first UFC. I was at a friend’s house and his older brother illegally recorded the event somehow. He had a VHS tape and put it on.

I was a huge WWF fan at the time. I always used to stick up for the WWF and tell people it was real. I wanted it to be real so bad. I remember watching the UFC and thinking that it had to be fake. It can’t be real. These guys are killing each other on TV. I also remember thinking that I wanted to do it. I was in third grade at the time but I distinctly remember that. It was a huge moment in my life.

You boxed early on. You wrestled at a young age. You became more obsessed with MMA in high school. When did you make a serious commitment to pursue Mixed Martial Arts early on?

I remember watching The Ultimate Fighter. That is what made the UFC what it is today. I watched it every chance I got. I remember one day coming out of the subway. I looked up and there was a martial arts gym. It was called Combined Martial Arts. It was the home of the Rhino Fight Team. I walked in and looked at the schedule. I started with boxing and jiu-jitsu. I fell in love with it immediately. I had my first amateur fight within four months.

Many of those early ammy fights are sketchy. What do you remember about that first fight?

It was actually easy. I fought a guy, I was 17 or 18 and he was 27 years old. I beat his ass. I was really tired. I was not expecting the adrenaline dump. I was really tired. I won a unanimous decision 30-27. I fell in love right there.

After watching and being inspired by UFC to be able to step inside the Octagon and get your first UFC had to be special. What do you remember from that night?

I remember winning the fight and thinking ‘I made it. I did it.’ Then I realized it was just the beginning. Just when you think you got it, that’s when everything hits you. I realized I had a whole chapter ahead of me.

The whole goal when you are fighting locally is ‘I have to get to the big show.’ You make such an effort to get there and then you make it and you realize now you have to really turn it up. That’s what it was like for me. I was happy getting my first win and doing it in dominant fashion was great but then I remember thinking I had a whole new chapter ahead of me.

It's funny you mention ‘making it.’ There is still a pocket of casual fans and viewers that think if they see you fight on television that you’ve automatically made millions. Have you had any interactions with people who are misguided about your success and finances?

I have friends who think I am going great and making a ton of money. ‘Look at you. You’ve made it.’ I’m at the bottom of the totem pole. We all know that fighter pay at the beginning is not exceptional. I am still struggling. I am still trying to get to that point where things are stable. I am still in that zone where I am trying to get to that level of stability. It’s harder now than it was then. I just have to keep grinding.

Your past drug addiction is such a big piece of your story. The addiction to pain meds, the heroin addiction, the homelessness, some really serious obstacles that most would not be able to overcome. Do you feel like that has become the beginning and end of every conversation for you now?

I wouldn’t change any of my past. I wouldn’t be the person I am today. It molded me to be the person I am today. Now I have a purpose. After Cowboy Cerrone’s last fight he said he finally knows why he is fighting. It took him this long to find a reason. My ex-girlfriend asked me that years ago. My answer was because I love fighting and I am good at it. I am a tough guy. I am good at hurting people. I didn’t know what my reason was. Now I know. It’s to help other people who are going through what I went through.

A lot of people know me as the ex-junkie that became the UFC fighter. I believe people think I am a great fighter, which I know I am, but I don’t want to be known as just that.

I feel like a broken record where people during interviews always want me to rehash my past. I have to share it because that’s how I help people but it does get monotonous. I don’t want to focus on the drug addiction. Everybody knows what comes with drug addiction – going to jail, the rehab, the homelessness and all that nonsense. I want to focus more on helping people. Something that I have mentioned in some interviews that I know is a cause for why I became the person I was being sexually assaulted as a child. Now it’s a really big thing, the whole #MeToo movement.

In our sport, I promise you that there are plenty of people men and women who have been sexually assaulted but they don’t want to talk about it. We are in such a macho sport that who wants to talk about being raped by a man as a kid? People don’t want to talk about it but I feel like it has to be talked about. We need to kill the stigma. It’s almost a normal thing to hear, these people that take advantage of innocent kids.

My plan is to use the UFC platform to help other people. Obviously, I want to become a world champion that is the ultimate goal. I want to make a bunch of money and make a life for myself. I don’t want to have to struggle but at the end of the day when fighting is over, it’s going to end soon, and I want to help people. I think using the UFC platform is a really good way to do that.

If Conor McGregor or LeBron James or Ronaldo were standing on the corner telling people how doing heroin is bad and being a sexual assault victim isn’t a bad thing, that the victim didn’t do anything wrong, people would be listening. There isn’t enough of that.

Everyone wants to flaunt their money and all the nice stuff they have. That’s cool, I get it. If I had something nice I would want to show it off, too. What makes a legend, what makes someone really powerful is if they have a purpose beyond that. Muhammad Ali for example, he was one of the best boxers of all time but he also stood for so many different people and causes.