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Every fight, UFC 178

UFC 178 was the best card of 2014. Let us retell it via Mike Goldberg and Joe Rogan’s over-excited commentary. Former UFC 135lb champion Dominick Cruz returning from 1,000-plus days of inactivity to batter Takeya Mizugaki’ unconscious in 61 seconds (Goldberg: “And he hit him again!”). Demetrious Johnson’s route of underdog Chris Cariaso, leading to a kimura (Rogan: “He’s going to get his arm broken”).

Conor McGregor’s thousands of Irish fans who flew out to Sin City to support him in TKO’ing Dustin Poirier, and made the night’s third-to-last scrap feel more like the main event (Goldberg: “An entire country is standing on their feet right now”*). *Exaggeration.

Former Bellator 155lb champ Eddie Alvarez having his moments against Donald Cerrone before succumbing to surgically deconstructive striking (Rogan: “If he let him up, I don’t even know if Alvarez could stand up”). Plus near-KO comebacks from never-say-die Cat Zingano (Rogan: “Oh! Oh! Oh!”), and Yoel Romero against Tim Kennedy (Rogan: “This is ridiculous! Why isn’t he standing up? Why don’t they get that stool out of there?!”). UFC, you spoil us.

#STOOLGATE

Yoel Romero, UFC 178

Mixed martial arts is composed of roughly 80% controversy. The nice part about it showing up again at UFC 178, when Yoel Romero TKO’d Tim Kennedy in round three, was its new guise. #Stoolgate is its name, deciding whether Romero’s corner intentionally left him sitting on his stool so he’d have more time to recover before round three is the game.

You see, Romero was saved by the bell at the end of the second as Kennedy had him rocked, potentially only seconds away from his own win. But because the Cuban was still sat down as the break finished, technically that’s a TKO victory for Kennedy. However, excess Vaseline needed wiping from Romero’s eyebrow, which took two officials and a cornerman to take care of. After just under 30 extra seconds of ‘The Soldier of God’ taking a load off, the fight was continued. And 58 seconds after that Tim Kennedy had been stopped by strikes.

But it turns out some of the massive punches that nearly finished Romero happened when Kennedy was holding onto his opponent’s glove – which is against the rules. So, controversy or karma?

RANKINGS SCHMANKINGS

Ben Rothwell and Andrei Arlovksi, UFC Fight Night 50/51

Ben Rothwell’s and Andrei Arlovski’s disregard for the UFC heavyweight rankings, the very order of things, was disgusting in September. Who did unranked Rothwell think he was knocking out in former K-1 kickboxing champion and then-number-seven Alistair Overeem at UFC Fight Night 50? And Arlovski? The number-14 guy taking out number-four ‘Bigfoot’ Silva in the same way at Fight Night 51 was just insolent. Come on, do you two think people like watching KO upsets? Really?

You, Rothwell, with your hard straight right that put ‘The Reem’ on the deck in two minutes and 21. And you, Arlovski, getting two of your own straights on Bigfoot’s chin and sitting him down in three minutes. The amount of shock, excitement and change you caused was completely reckless. For shame.

UNDER PRESSURE

Liam McGeary, Bellator 124

If people could stop winning with awesome submissions that’d be great. A shortlist does have to be decided for the Fighters Only World MMA Awards next year, and between omoplatas and Peruvian-styled anaconda chokes it’s going to be tricky. Still, Liam McGeary gave himself a good chance, winning at Bellator 124 with an inverted triangle from underneath Kelly Anundson’s side control. Yes, really. Although it wasn’t his first sub attempt from the position. Earlier he’d caused a pained shout when he wrapped up an Americana from his back. In the end the Englishman threw his legs up to Anundson’s head as the first round of their 205lb tournament final was nearly over.

Very quickly, what looked like nothing much became an inverted triangle victory as McGeary pushed his fellow finalist’s left arm up through his legs as his pins were forming a figure-four around Anundson’s head. Side control = the new closed guard.

KNOCK, KNOCK

Mark Hunt, UFC Fight Night 52

Oh, how we love a Mark Hunt walk-off KO. You know that feeling when you’d score the toy out of the cereal box as a kid? That’s what it’s like to watch a ‘Super Samoan’ knockout. After Hunt and UFC Fight Night 52 opponent Roy Nelson connected with little of note in the first round at the famous Saitama Super Arena in Japan, the Oceanic kickboxer started to hone some heavy hits in the second, shaking ‘Big Country’ up.

Then, with his trademark grass-is-green nonchalance, Hunt hoofed a massive right uppercut into the mug of a ducking Nelson. Whose brain had no other option than to shut down and have him face-plant on the canvas for only the second knockout defeat in 10 years for the heavyweight. Hunt, meanwhile, just walked away like the coolest cat in the crib. All hail the Hunt.

HIGH-SPEED DIRT

Melvin Manhoef, Bellator 125

High Speed Dirt is a song by noted thrash band Megadeth. It’s about skydiving. The title referencing the Earth’s surface rushing toward you at high speed as you plummet downward. Doug Marshall wasn’t doing any skydiving at Bellator 124, but after Dutch kickboxing psycho Melvin Manhoef smashed him behind the ear with a right hook that forced his face to hit the mat at, hmm, about 75mph he did get a taste of high-speed dirt.

Fighting in the evening’s main attraction, the few exchanges Manhoef and Marshall managed in the 1:45 contest had the former come out on top in nearly all – as he hurled full-speed hooks at the American. One of which was the almighty finishing blow. High-speed dirt indeed.

ODDEST MOMENT EVER

Stephan Bonnar and Tito Ortiz, Bellator 123

MMA hosts a disproportionate amount of weird. Show us other sports that have something like Stephan Bonnar unmasking a mystery man to rile up Tito Ortiz when their November contest was being announced in the Bellator 123 cage. (Because it wasn’t already odd enough UFC president Dana White had released Bonnar so ‘The American Psycho’ could potentially defeat White’s old adversary and ex UFC champ Ortiz in Bellator.)

When the two squared off, Bonnar cut a promo to declare Tito wouldn’t have fans if they knew how “selfish, self-absorbed, arrogant” he is. Then pulled a hood off a suited figure (former Ortiz training pal and sometime UFC heavyweight Justin McCully – surprise!) and told Tito he didn’t know how ex partner Jenna Jameson had “put up” with him “all those years.” Soon Ortiz was shoving Bonnar and an in-cage melee ensued. Add another story to MMA’s annals of odd.

I PROTEST...ZZZZ

Mario Saeed, Cage Warriors 72

Ever seen a guy get illegally kicked in the face, start complaining to the ref about it, then slip into unconsciousness? Then you need to catch up on Cage Warriors 72 from September. Having taken a couple of nearly illegal upkicks in the mush as he was entering Azi Thomas’ guard, Mario Saeed ate one full force as his left knee was on the canvas. The lightweight immediately looked to referee Marc Goddard and started protesting, then, in the same motion, went unconscious and flopped to his back. And we don’t mean groggy, we mean KO’d cold, arms stretched out and everything. How is that even possible, you ask? Does this look like a magazine put together by neuroscientists? We just know the events defied logic and Saeed got a DQ win plus a power nap.

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