Issue 111
February 2014
Not all American people like mixed martial arts. It’s insanity, we know. Some of them find it brutal, unacceptable and barbaric. But new figures from an old Fighters Only poll show that roughly 69.899% of those same people will fight, without any protective gloves or prior drugs screenings, against other members of the public for the benefit of owning cheaper electronics and other goods that will shortly become obsolete.
The cause is the post-Thanksgiving sale day known as Black Friday. The location is average Americans’ local department stores or car parks. The result for many is bruises, gun shot wounds and YouTube immortality.
November 2013 saw some of the worst shopping-related violence the US has ever witnessed – reminiscent of the Arnold Schwarzenegger opus Jingle all the Way. Many deal-seekers were filmed, and the offending footage then uploaded to video sites, as they tussled with opponent savers over the last oversized TV, or item of low-price clothing that had a disgustingly inflated mark-up in the first place.
Video shows women pummeling each other on the ground and men getting into bareknuckle fights – all things the hypocrites find so vile about mixed martial arts. And they did even worse too. In Philadelphia a woman used a stun gun during a scrap and a man in the fight capital of Las Vegas was shot in the leg trying to rescue a TV that had just been stolen from him.
You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror, America.
Ex-Bellator champ Askren signs with ONE FC
Former Bellator welterweight champion Ben Askren has signed with Asian promotion One FC. The former US Olympic wrestler who’d indicated an interest in competing in the UFC but wasn’t offered a contract by the organization following his release from Bellator. The 29-year-old 12-0 grappler turned down an opportunity to join World Series of Fighting in December and instead opted for One FC, home to the likes of champions Shinya Aoki and Bibiano Fernandes.
2.8 million
Walmart’s best-selling item for Black Friday in 2013 was towels. It shifted 2.8 million of them compared to 2 million TVs.
Vancouver, Canada: Brazilian jiu-jitsu instructor releases guide for surviving zombie apocalypse
Respected Canadian-Brazilian jiu-jitsu instructor Stephan Kesting has released a video teaching you how best to employ your grappling and mixed martial arts combat knowledge to survive the overdue zombie apocalypse.
Noting that the majority of your BJJ knowledge is invalid for defending yourself in a world heavily populated with the living dead, he details what attacks and defenses will and will not be effective against the bite-centric offense of a zombie.
Kesting, who also runs the successful Grapplearts online learning resource for jiu-jitsu, reminds that the quintessential jiu-jitsu attacks of armbars and chokes will not only fail to incapacitate pain-immune, heart-dead walkers but are likely to allow the zombie a chance to rip off a chunk of flesh. Instead, X-guard sweeps and Pride-style soccer kicks make the approved list, among other techniques.
We eagerly await what will likely be Kesting’s next edition: ‘How to Save Your Life With BJJ During Black Friday 2014.’
Some Russian amateur events reported to 'not allow' ethnic minorities
A report from Agence France-Presse (AFP) suggests racial prejudices are prevalent in some areas of Russia’s mixed martial arts community.
Stating the sport is gaining popularity in the European nation, AFP notes some gyms will only train Slavic Russians and not those from the predominantly Muslim North Caucasus region.
The area has historically been at odds with the central Russian government due to a dispute over independence, and because of anti-Russian attacks carried out by militants from the region. The report added that it appears “some amateur tournaments do not allow non-Slavic Russian fighters from the turbulent southern region, home to many of the country’s most successful wrestlers.”
15
TUF Brasil winnerRony Jason needed15 stitches in his arm after he sliced it open elbowing a false wall in frustration following a knockout loss to Jeremy Stephens at UFC Fight Night 32 in November.
