Issue 116

July 2014

The sport’s strangest stories from around the globe.


OFFICIAL: LATVIA CANNOT BE TRUSTED WITH MMA 

RIGA, LATVIA

Urgent Notice: Please be advised that the nation of Latvia should no longer be left unsupervised with the rulebook of mixed martial arts. Recent events have proven the European country has a dangerous propensity for bats**t crazy adaptations of the Unified Rules when left to its own devices.



Please see ‘exhibit A’, Team Fighting Championship. Observe through these screen captures of YouTube videos that someone has actually fronted the money for, and several judgement-impaired people engaged in, five-on-five, limited-rule MMA fights. Clearly Latvia cannot be trusted to be responsible with the regulations of mixed martial arts.

Gone are weight classes, time limits, participant limits and every other guideline in the Unified Rules outside of eye gouging, biting, groin attacks, spitting and “blows to the Adam’s apple.” Inside a large, loosely roped-off fighting area are five referees and “a new approach to the martial arts where you can enjoy the exciting moments of group street fighting transferred to the sport grounds.”



Victory is earned by one team of amateurs (no pros allowed) having ‘the last man standing’ after all opposing fighters have either told an official they give up or a referee has made that decision for them. 

Although what generally happens is the first team to lose a fighter gets picked off in a series of two-on-one and three-on-one situations. The permitted stomps and soccer kicks mean that doesn’t last long, mercifully – we guess.

Latvia, you’re dangerously insane.


EX PRIDE HEAVYWEIGHT ALEKSANDER EMELIANENKO ON RUSSIAN WANTED LIST

Former Pride heavyweight Aleksander Emelianenko, brother of all-time great Fedor, was placed on a wanted list by Russian authorities after he didn’t appear for questioning following allegations of sexually assaulting a housekeeper and stealing her passport.

The six-foot-five 32-year-old remained scheduled to fight fellow MMA veteran Jeff Monson at the end of May in St Petersburg despite the issue. He battled names such as Fabricio Werdum and Josh Barnett in Pride during his 23-7 career.


6

The amount of women involved at a Team Fighting Championship event: five ring girls and one female ‘Bruce Buffer’.


COUNTRY SINGER NELSON GETS FIFTH-DEGREE BACK BELT IN KOREAN MARTIAL ART

Legendary country music artist Willie Nelson recently earned his fifth-degree black belt in Korean martial art gongkown yusul.

Nelson, who has sold 40 million in the US alone, received the honor the day before his 81st birthday. Gongkwon yusul utlizes both striking, throwing and grappling techniques and involves applying them in a more realistic situation than traditional martial arts.

Nelson told KVUE News: “It’s just good for you physically. For your lungs. The more you’re breathing, exercising, the better you’re going to feel.”


4,720

RUFF ring girl Nicole Lo has 4,270 fans on Weibo, the Chinese version of Twitter.


RING GIRL FOR CHINESE PROMOTION RUFF FENDS OFF WOULD-BE MUGGER WITH A BRICK

LOS ANGELES, UNITED STATES

A ring girl for premier Chinese mixed martial arts promotion Ranik Ultimate Fighting Federation (RUFF) recently had to defend herself from a would-be mugger with a brick near to her Los Angeles home.

Chinese model and number-one RUFF ring girl Nicole Lo was forced to defend herself, and her iPhone, while stepping out to buy some bananas before a workout. 

“In a backstreet some dude tried to steal my iPhone,” the 20-something Lo wrote on her Facebook page shortly after the attack. “I grabbed a brick near my feet, jumped and smashed his head from behind. He fell down and he turned around and looked at me with panic; I guess my face must look pretty scary all twisted in a rage. I grabbed my phone and ran back home. Well, obviously he chose the wrong target. He never expected a girl would fight back like that.”

You know MMA is a tough sport when even the eye candy throws down.



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