Issue 105

September 2013

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL ANDERSON SILVA SLAPPED BY PELE

He’s already sung to a burger and dressed up like Uma Thurman to encourage Brazil’s consumers to buy Burger King and Budweiser, so why wouldn’t future UFC Hall of Famer Anderson Silva be getting slapped by Brazilian soccer legend Pele for a TV advert?

The 72-year-old, regarded by most as the best soccer player ever, landed the blow for the benefit of Brazil’s largest telecommunications company, Vivo. Which you can add to Silva’s portfolio of endorsement deals stacked with names such as Duracell, Ford and Philips in his home nation.

In the commercial, a young Anderson Silva’s desire to play soccer is dashed by his poor skills and he instead takes up fighting. He reveals, however, his dream of playing for Brazil’s national team. A dream sequence of him making up for his appalling abilities on the field by kicking and submitting the opposing team eventually sees Silva sent off and the entire nation up in arms. 

He’s booted out of the sport and finds himself selling shrimp on the beach. Cue Pele imploring Anderson to, ‘Wake up,’ and clubbing him with a poor right hook. Anderson awakens in the Octagon in time for a knockout finish of his no-name opponent.

Weird, but it doesn’t beat Wanderlei Silva baaing like a sheep for a Brazilian toilet paper commercial.

ABU DHABI,

UAE ARABIC TUF IS ACTUALLY PRETTY DECENT

For the first time since the human race came to be, a non-official duplication of the UFC’s long-running reality series, The Ultimate Fighter, isn’t terrible. 

Many attempts to imitate the show have ended in tears or personal bankruptcy. Mostly the bankruptcy. But when your version of the show is based in what has been deemed to be the richest city in the world, Abu Dhabi, money is unlikely to be a great concern.

It also means Al Batal, produced by Abu Dhabi Fighting Championships, doesn’t suck. And just to let you know they’ve got the dollar, competitors are shown at the start of the program fighting on top of a skyscraper in the desert, are rewarded for winning old-TUF-style challenges with stays in five-star hotels and train in a state-of-the-art facility. 

There are fights (both in the back of SUVs and in cages) between the racing of sports cars and indoor skiing, but they also do benevolent acts like helping needy families and people with special needs. Which is actually kind of better than TUF.

Can it beat Ronda Rousey vs. Miesha Tate’s upcoming UFC season for drama? Heavily unlikely. Does it make you feel better about mankind more often than appalled by some of the behavior of grown adults? You bet.

AUSTRALIA TO BATTLE CANADA ON ULTIMATE FIGHTER: NATIONS

UFC welterweights Patrick Cote and Kyle Noke will coach opposing teams on an upcoming international season of The Ultimate Fighter. Dubbed The Ultimate Fighter: Nations, Cote will head a team of Canadians against Noke’s group of Australians.

Cote told Sportsnet: “A year ago I was in the middle of nowhere in Brazil fighting my way back to go in the UFC and now I’m going to be the coach for Canada, it’s just insane.”

Expected to hit screens in 2014, the season will be the third country vs. country installment of the show, with the UK facing off with the USA and Australia previously. 

JAPANESE ALL-FEMALE PROMOTION JEWELS ABSORBED BY DEEP, SET FOR CO-BRANDING

All-female promotion Jewels is ceasing operations and being absorbed by Deep. Both Japan-based organizations will combine forces to produce Deep Jewels events, with its most successful fighters advancing to more prestigious Deep-only fight cards. 

The new set-up combines in one place two pools of female fighters, one in Jewels and the other in Deep. It should lead to better quality fights, and will allow the continued loaning of Jewels’ top talent to American all-girl promotion Invicta.

“This makes a clear step for female fighters in Japan: from Deep Jewels (events), into Deep and then overseas to Invicta,” said Deep president Shigeru Saeki. 

20%

Rugby League is now 20% comprised of MMA techniques, according to former Australian pro Mark ‘MG’ Geyer. He told MMA Kanvas there was no influence 10 years ago.

UFC women’s bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey is half Venezuelan.