Issue 092
September 2012
Ronda Rousey’s ferocity has taken her to Olympic and Strikeforce glory; an achievement even more impressive when you realize she’s been battling a severe Pokemon addiction this whole time
How did you get into video games?
“I remember when I was in math one day and these kids behind me were trading Pokemon cards, and one of the cards had a dragon on it. They were arguing about how many dollars it was worth but it was the picture I was interested in. I liked anime and when I found out about the video game I started playing it. I was a skinny kid then but that summer I lost like five pounds. All I did was play Pokemon and eat Graham Crackers. I never was really a partier. I never went to proms or school dances. If I wasn’t training I was playing video games.”
Did video games ever get in the way of your training or were you able to maintain the balance?
“No not at all. Video games made up for an absence of a social life because of my training.”
In many respects, being a lady who fights and plays video games, you could be seen as a minority within a minority within a minority. Do you think this is true?
“I’m sure I’m a combination of a lot of weird things that aren’t supposed to go together. I’m a walking contradiction in a lot of ways!”
So going back to the start you talked about Pokemon; do you prefer playing RPGs then? What are some of your favorites?
“Pokemon’s my favorite but I’ve been playing a lot of Zelda: Skyward Sword on the Wii so I’m really getting into that at the minute. I’m starting to get my bird on!”
So did you get a chance to play Star Wars: The Old Republic after your last fight like you said you wanted to?
“No. I haven’t been able to get it set up yet! I’ve got the big screen TV, I got that for Christmas, and we’re already in June now and I’ve only just got cable set up! I said in March I was going to play Old Republic so I think it’ll probably be some time in September.”
The serious questions then; would you beat Chun Li in a fight?
“Yeah, both her and Cammy because, let’s be real, the Street Fighter girl characters weren’t nearly as bad ass as the guy ones. I would destroy Chun Li.”
Finally, what three games would you take onto a desert island?
“Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Donkey Kong Country 2, Wii Fit Plus.”
LAUZON'S BEST BITS
UFC lightweight contender Joe Lauzon shares the latest from his life in video games...
Lauzon on Starcraft…
“Those guys who play Starcraft 2 at the highest level are phenomenal. They’re like rock stars at those bigger shows. They play in front of huge crowds and if you look at how fast they play it’s amazing. They’re basically pressing buttons as fast as humanly possible for hours at a time. That’s another level of dedication right there.”
BACK TO THE FUTURE
Video Game History of MMA: Yie Ar Kung Fu
The elimination tournament has moved to the back burner of modern MMA in a lot of respects but the die-hards still fondly discuss the grand prix format with nostalgic tones. The UFC’s 1993 debut offered a classic eight-man arrangement but it was the combination of styles that made it such an era-defining affair; a premise that also made Konami’s Yie Ar Kung-Fu equally as exciting nearly a decade earlier.
The tournament was split up into two brackets and saw a young fighter by the name of Oolong try his hand at the hilariously titled “Hot Fighting History” before graduating to the much more dangerous “Masterhand History.” This truly was interdisciplinary combat at its finest but Oolong’s biggest oversight was not reading the tournament rules; specifically the paragraph where it stated that weapons were allowed.
Only after defeating both men and women wielding swords, poles, nunchaku, shuriken, clubs and chains did you get to face off against the supreme champion A fighter simply called Blues, a master of all martial arts who attacked from every angle possible. Seems the ultimate fighter took the best elements of every style and cut out all the bits that didn’t work. Cerebral.
Oolong vs Buchu – As if this tournament wasn’t lawless enough; nobody bothered to mention there weren’t any weight categories.
Oolong vs Star – If you have to explain to someone why you can’t throw a shuriken at the feet of your opponent, there’s really no point.
Oolong vs Nuncha – Where does this end – seriously? It’s lucky that gunpowder weaponry wasn’t widely in circulation at this point.
Oolong Nut Shot – Wrong on every single level imaginable. Oolong inevitably needed more than the allocated five minutes recovery time.
SEPARATED AT BIRTH
S.P.Y Bond and Charlie Brenneman
Pittsburgh welterweight Charlie Brenneman is well known for his grinding wrestling game but few knew about his involvement in international security. The S.P.Y project was seemingly designed to catch criminals, drive fast cars and make the world a better place. It’s probably the sole reason that, when he’s in the Octagon, Brenneman often appears shaken not stirred.
