Issue 092
September 2012
The UFC is home to some of the best athletes in the world, but in a shocking parallel universe without fight sports, Fighters Only takes a sideways look at the likely Olympic dreams of some of MMA’s finest…
100m – Rashad Evans
When it comes to explosive takedowns few hold a torch to former light heavyweight champion. When ‘Suga’ changes levels and bursts across the canvas to double-leg his opponent, it’s almost impossible to keep your focus on him let alone stop him. That’s why Rashad would be fantastic as a 100 meter sprinter. Nobody moves quite as fast as the Blackzilians star over a short distance. And we could certainly see him pushing Tyson Gay for a spot on the US team – although lanky Jon Jones-esque Usain Bolt may cause Rashad as many problems as he has Tyson over the years.
Basketball – Travis Browne
It’s pretty obvious why Travis Browne would be playing for USA basketball’s dream team. First of all, he’s a huge man, so he’d be a threat at both ends of the court. Also, he showed that his cardio isn’t too shabby in his fight with Rob Broughton at UFC 135, which was fought at altitude too. Not to mention that Browne played college ball in San Diego, so he has the skills to break ankles. Honorable mention goes out to Stefan ‘Skyscraper’ Struve too, naturally.
Fencing – Dominick Cruz
‘The Dominator’ has the kind of footwork that would bamboozle Floyd Mayweather, Fred Astaire and Michael Jackson all on the same night! What he does inside the Octagon dumbfounds and frustrates opponents, simply because they haven’t a clue what angle he’s coming from next. Ideal for a swashbuckling swordsman, he’d be a certainty for gold in fencing. Cruz would be able to dodge and duck all attacks thrown his way and still land a large amount of his own strikes – just as he does in the UFC.
Shooting – Matt Hughes
The former two-time UFC welterweight champion is a good ol’ country boy who has good ol’ country boy hobbies, one of those being huntin’! Now, Hughes may be used to shooting animals rather than targets but that doesn’t mean he can’t get the job done. Plus, a moving target in the woods has got to be much harder to hit than one that stands still, so it could well be easy pickings for the former champ.
Gymnastics – Georges St Pierre
GSP’s fascination with gymnastics is a strange one. Whilst his next opponent, Carlos Condit, will most likely be drilling his takedown defense to try and stop St Pierre from going for that wicked double-leg of his, it’s very likely that you’ll find St Pierre – when fit – doing back flips with the Canadian gymnastics team.
Triathlon – Nick Diaz
The Stockton bad boy has stated numerous times that he isn’t a fan of fighting, and with his suspension for marijuana lasting a year, Diaz is going to have plenty of time on his hands to partake in his favorite hobby outside of choking people out – competing in the triathlon. Could you imagine Diaz, on the podium, flipping the bird whilst being presented with a medal? It would only be fitting.
Soccer – Wanderlei Silva
Let’s be honest, Wanderlei has all the makings of a fantastic defensive midfielder for any soccer team. Firstly, he’s Brazilian so he was born to play the sport. Secondly, he’s as tough as a pair of old boots and aggressive too, so he’d be flying in with tackles. And finally, as anybody whose ever sat down to watch replays of Pride will confirm, if he can kick a football as hard as he kicks an opponent’s head, he’ll fit in just fine out on the soccer field.
Swimming – Jon Jones
Michael Phelps has proven himself the greatest swimmer of all time already, and looks only destined to extend that legacy in London. With 14 Olympic gold medals banked, it’s hard to discount the six-foot-four American phenom. But then MMA has its own six-foot-four phenom, who recently added swimming to his training schedule. Sure, Phelps is a good 20lb lighter than light heavyweight champ Jones, but they both have the same long limbs that clearly work well both in the water and the Octagon.
Table Tennis – Anderson Silva
Why is the world’s most dangerous fighter playing the worlds least dangerous game you ask? Well, to put it bluntly, Anderson has the reactions of a cat; by far the fastest in all of MMA. It’s not hard to imagine ‘The Spider’ gliding to each side of the table, effortlessly keeping the ball in check.
Weightlifting – Oli Thompson
Thompson may be one of the newest additions to the UFC’s heavyweight division, but long before he became a mixed martial artist, he was a part of the strongman circuit – and wasn’t doing too badly either. He may make his living punching people in the face now, but if he stepped up to represent Team GB in the weightlifting it would be hard to bet against him.
Canoeing – Yushin Okami
You probably wouldn’t normally associate Yushin Okami with something like canoeing, but if you watched the UFC 134 countdown show then you’ll recall that for his fight with Anderson Silva he added an array of white water events to his camp to help build his cardio. He may have lost convincingly to Anderson that night, but his paddling skills before the opening bell looked fantastic.
Volleyball – Cris ‘Cyborg’ Santos
There’s a distinct lack of intimidating nicknames in volleyball, which could essentially pave the way for someone like ‘Cyborg’ Santos to wreak havoc on the sand and gain gold for Brazil. The former Strikeforce champion is power personified and won’t hesitate to smash her hand against the ball to get those all-important points. fperson who has block one of her rocket shots.
