THE EVENT THAT WAS NOT TO BE

UFC 151

The cancellation of UFC 151 in August, due to main eventer Dan Henderson’s knee injury and 205lb kingpin Jon Jones’ disinterest in fighting Chael Sonnen instead, left the MMA universe with bugger all UFC to watch between August 11th and September 22nd. It also left a weird hole in the UFC timeline; there will never be a UFC 151. Hopefully the unfilled gap between UFC 150 and UFC 152 isn’t actually some anomaly in the MMA space-time continuum, splitting our reality from the world’s true timeline where UFC 151 still went ahead and Dan Henderson won the 205lb title by submission due to tickling. Perhaps we’ll never know…

DA BEST EVAH!

Phil Baroni, One FC 5

After soccer kicking and ground ‘n’ pounding Rodrigo Ribeiro into defeat in 60 seconds in the Philippines, Phil Baroni didn’t sit atop the cage at One FC 5 and scream he was, ‘Da best evah!’ as he did after knocking out Dave Menne at UFC 39 in 2002. But the AKA welterweight did celebrate by gyrating his hips like an extra from Magic Mike then throwing a ring girl over his shoulder and carrying her out the cage. Whether it’s fending off a headbutt from a defeated opponent’s brother in the ring or performing a post-win posedown, it just wouldn’t be a ‘New York Bad Ass’ victory without another memory for the after-fight highlight reel.

QUICKEST HANDS

Marcos Galvao and Luis Nogueira, Bellator 73

Bantamweights have hands like whippets. Not in that they’re lean and undersized and have trouble warming themselves in winter (although, now we think about it…), but they’re fast. Really fast. That was on show in abundance at Bellator 73 when Marcos Galvao TKO’d Luis Nogueira to take the summer Bellator bantamweight tournament. Both men shot straights, hooks, jabs at each other with alarming speed until the stop late in round two. With the win, Galvao now has to battle Nova Uniao teammate and Bellator 135lb champ Eduardo Dantas. Awkward!

PLAY IT AGAIN, RONDA

Ronda Rousey, Strikeforce: Rousey vs Kaufman

Olympic bronze medalist judo player and Strikeforce women’s bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey beat Sarah Kaufman in only 54 seconds in August. Considering she’s won all nine bouts of her professional and amateur MMA careers with an armbar, how do you think she defeated Kaufman? If you guessed triangle choke you need to become less familiar with licking lead paint. It was, of course, an armbar. One that Kaufman tried to defend in vain for 35 full seconds. Amazing. At this rate it mightn’t be long before Rousey’s bouts pretty much become a formality.

BIGGEST GRUDGE

Andrei Arlovski and Tim Sylvia, One FC 5

Evidently four fights do not provide enough opportunity to settle a grudge. Though Tim Sylvia and Andrei Arlovski had three prior opportunities to quash their rivalry while contesting the UFC heavyweight title – each earning a finish and Sylvia an additional decision win – they still threw down with malice at One FC 5 in August in the Philippines. This time also spurred by ‘The Maine-iac’ dating an ex of Arlovski a few years ago. Cue pre-fight trash talk, a second round Arlovski headbutt ruled accidental, then, after ‘The Pitbull’ dropped Sylvia with two right hands, a couple of kicks to Sylvia’s melon. Problem being One FC only allows soccer kicks when the referee permits. The result? A no contest finish and a potential fifth bout. Or, you know, they could just shake hands and apologize. Whatever.

UNLUCKIEST FIGHTER

Travis Wiuff, Bellator 73

MMA road warrior Travis Wiuff might be one of the unluckiest men in MMA. He’s lost two separate UFC appearances, one by armbar, the other submission due to punches; lost his one Pride appearance in 39 seconds; and, most recently, went on a tear all the way through to the Bellator light heavyweight tournament finals only to be knocked out in 25 seconds by Attila Vegh at Bellator 73 in August. That means he missed a shot at Christian M’Pumbu, the promotion’s 205lb champ, who Wiuff already beat late last year. If that’s not bad luck, what is?

DOWN BUT NEVER OUT

Jens Pulver, One FC 5

If there was ever a fighter with heart, it’s Jens Pulver. The fan favorite and former UFC lightweight champion swallowed some hard shots courtesy of One FC 5 featherweight opponent Eric Kelly. He remained unmoved and undeterred until a series of heavy hits and a torso-punishing kick in the second sent him to the canvas doubled over, where Kelly finished with strikes. Pulver got his licks in too, though – not least when a short left hook felled his hometown Filipino foe in the first. Despite 13 years and 44 fights, somehow there’s still fight in this old dog.

LATER ALLIGATOR

‘Jacare’ Souza, Strikeforce: Rousey vs Kaufman

Just 41 seconds after Strikeforce fans had welcomed BJJ ace Ronaldo ‘Jacare’ (meaning ‘alligator’ in Portuguese) Souza to the ring to take on Derek Brunson in August, they were waving him goodbye. (That headline make sense now?) The promotion’s former middleweight champion only went and knocked Brunson out with alarming precision at Strikeforce: Rousey vs Kaufman. He first delivered a fade-away right hook which dropped Derek face first, then cracked the Jackson’s MMA man with another right as he was regaining his feet, then dropped two more pinpoint pounds to a grounded Brunson to end it.

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