Issue 093

October 2012

The referee’s first rule of survival: family comes first 

Open this month’s column whilst waiting to officiate at UFC 148 in Las Vegas on July 7th, which involves me traveling over the July 4th holiday (one of the biggest of the year in the US) and as such it’s a time of reflection of family values.

Mario Yamasaki

UFC referee

An MMA referee for 12 years, 

Mario has black belts in judo and BJJ and refereed the jiu-jitsu Pan-Am Games.

In order to be an international official you have to give up substantial time to pursue your goals. Fights will generally occur during weekends, and what this means in terms of an official is you’ll have to sacrifice that time for the sport. Weekends are generally the only free time in the week where families come together for shared activities. However, in the fight world this is when you will be either working or traveling to and from an event.

I’ve been blessed by having a supportive wife, Alessandra, who allows me to travel all over the world to pursue my officiating. She married into the Yamasaki family and, of course, was well aware of my family commitment and dedication to combative sports. She has been instrumental in my success because of her continuous support and allowing me to pursue all aspects of my career. 

But I have encountered officials whose spouses do not share the same passion and encouragement mine does. As such, this can make a career as an official difficult. Realize that times will at some point get tough. These are times when your decisions as an official are brought into question and you feel the world is turning against you.  

Ask any official who has been through this what it feels like. The only support you often have in these moments is that of your family. The MMA world can be turning upside down, but when I get back from an event and have my children, Sophia and Lucas, run to me, it’s the best feeling in the world.

I know sometimes as officials we can get our priorities out of order, especially with all the energy and excitement that the sport of MMA brings. So, from my 14 years of experience, here are some tips that can help you, as a referee, keep your family commitments intact. You can have the best of both worlds if you manage both properly.

Train together

If you have kids enroll in a martial arts class with them. This accomplishes two things: it allows you to spend quality time with them, and it also allows you as an official to perfect your knowledge of the sport. I’ve mentioned previously that having technical experience as an official is a vital component of being a good referee. This is one way to get the technical experience of MMA, and also have fun with your family at the same time.

Learn to say ‘No’

I know when you start out as an official you want to commit as much time as possible to honing your skills. You also don’t want to say no to the commission, because you are worried that if you say no to working a show you might be passed over for the next event. If you work for a busy commission, you might find yourself working several weekends, and this time away from your family will take its toll. I try to not miss anything important around my family such as birthdays, or an anniversary – times I’ll never get back.

Educate

Often spouses don’t understand mixed martial arts or your duties and responsibilities. I’ve talked to spouses who have said they’ve no idea about the sport or what their significant other actually does. It becomes a lot easier to justify the reason you are working weekends if your wife and kids know what you do. If you have video of yourself refereeing, show your kids; they’ll love it. I was fortunate enough to have my image used in a UFC video game that my kids played with their friends. It made understanding what I did easier for them.

Make events social evenings

Watching the UFC cards at a bar surrounded by good food, drinks and friends makes it an enjoyable experience for all. Often the social camaraderie surrounding the fight helps break down any barriers that your spouse may have with the sport. Let’s face it, almost everyone I talk to who is involved with MMA loves to go out as a group and watch an MMA show. The goal is to create a positive experience around the sport, and usually with good friends it isn’t too hard to do. Your wife will also get a chance to meet others who enjoy MMA in a social setting and perhaps make friends. 

Don’t let MMA consume you

I know officials who eat, sleep and breath MMA. In other words, all they do since they wake up is go on the internet and search every website looking for the latest news and gossip surrounding the sport. They subscribe to numerous Twitter accounts and read everything they can get their hands on. In short, it becomes their passion and consumes all aspects of their lives. 

Enjoy the sport as much as you can, but don’t forget to have other interests. If your wife wants to discuss things other than MMA at the breakfast table; take the hint. It is good to have a life that involves other interests and goals that are different than MMA. I am scheduled to officiate at UFC 149 later this summer – which takes place in Calgary, Canada, that is known for having one of the biggest rodeos in the world. Why do I bring this up? Because, many of you don’t know this, but my other passion is bull riding.

But that’s for another story. My point is to enjoy the diversity of other activities, not just mixed martial arts.