Issue 066
September 2010
Known as ‘The Voice’, Aussie commentator Michael Schiavello has the best one-liners in the business
If you’ve ever wondered who the excitable commentator was screaming, “It’s goodnight Irene!” after every knockout during the HDNet broadcasts of K-1 kickboxing events or the Japanese Dream promotion, then meet Michael Schiavello. He’s the man with an endless supply of one-liners, some of which would make Chris Rock blush. “When the on-air light illuminates, something comes over me,” he says. “I don’t script out what I say, I don’t use a teleprompter. I just open my mouth and it’s as if the universe puts the words in there.”
With his edgy style you’d be forgiven for thinking Schiavello sits around all day watching fights, drinking, gambling and wooing glamour models. The reality is different. Schiavello is a polished and practised broadcaster who has worked on the Olympic and Commonwealth Games, starting his career as a sports reporter while still in high school. “While my friends were out at house parties, getting drunk and losing their virginity, I was out covering amateur Australian football matches for my local paper, covering soccer matches for two newspapers, hosting my own community radio sports show and interviewing sports stars,” he says. By the time he had left education, Schiavello had amassed more articles and air time than rivals twice his age, interviewing international sports stars, footballers, cricketers and tennis players.
His father introduced him to the martial arts via the work of Bruce Lee and kung fu comic Sammo Hung. He was “spellbound” at the techniques, and spent a period training in Muay Thai in his early twenties. It was around this time Schiavello commentated on his first fight, a local kickboxing event in Melbourne, Australia. “It just felt so natural. It felt like this was what I was meant to be doing. I’d found my niche, my special place in the world, behind the microphone, commentating on violence.
“Fight sports give any media person the greatest freedom of expression,” says Schiavello, referring to his signature cheeky one-liners. Some are inappropriate for a family publication such as Fighters Only, but examples include, “That round was ugly but entertaining, just like the last girl I dated,” and, ‘He’s all over him like Paris Hilton on a home video camera.’
“I always got away with being an edgy, off-the-cuff commentator in any sport. I didn’t water it down or censor it just because the audience was different. My commentary is always very expressive and unique. I like it that way. So many commentators sound the same and could be interchanged with one another and you’d never know the difference. I like to think that nobody sounds the same as me. Love my style or hate it, you know it when you hear it.”
In person, Schiavello cuts a far different figure to his alter ego, ‘The Voice’. “My girlfriend came with me to Dynamite!! in Tokyo last New Year’s Eve and she had never seen me work before. The way I suddenly switched on and transformed into ‘The Voice’ as we went on air totally freaked her out. She was terrified. She said to my boss, ‘It’s like he’s a different person. This is not the Michael I know.’”
Believe it or not, no fighter has yet taken exception with any of Schiavello’s gags – not that he intends to insult anyone. “I’ve never had any incidents with fighters. Alistair Overeem just grinned at me and said, ‘Ah yeah, Mr Commentator’ after I cheered against him in the K-1 Grand Prix.” Schiavello is a huge fan of MMA and K-1 and is quick to point out there is nothing to stop him from having his favorites. “There is no written rule saying that you have to be objective. Of course I have favorite fighters! There is nobody who could possibly sit here and tell me that they do not have favorite fighters – you listen to my commentary and you will know who my favourite fighters are.”
His work means he travels considerably. Just before this interview took place, Schiavello flew from Tokyo to Los Angeles to San Jose and back home to Melbourne all in the space of ten days. The schedule is brutal, but he wouldn’t change a thing about it. “It is hard being away from home for so long. In May I went through nine different time zones in a month, doing five shows in four countries in four weeks including shows in Europe, Asia and North America. When you’re following your passion, no matter what it is in life, you do what it takes to achieve your dreams. I’m living my dream. I wake up every morning and I’m happy, joyous, because I have so much to be thankful for. Sure, flying for 20 hours sucks, but the end goal is sublime.”
Voice of the People
Schiavello’s most notorious gags
“He’s gotten more hits than Yahoo!”
“I’m sure somewhere in the world [Gago] Drago is depriving a village of an idiot.”
“Drago’s hungry tonight... He’d probably fight for a rice cake.”
“Open the fridge, he’s out cold!”
“That round was ugly but entertaining... Just like the last girl I dated.”
“Those punches have less weight behind them than Amy Winehouse.”
“Jerome LeBanner is getting scored on more times than my ex-girlfriend.”
“There are more Brazilians here than at my girlfriend’s waxing salon”
“Hold on, wait a minute, let me put some Zaromskis in it!”
“The grandparents from Willy Wonka moved more than these two guys!”
“He’s so big... Every time he walks past I think there should be a little man playing a tuba walking behind him.”
“Easter Island just called. Tell (Hong Man) Choi the statues want their head back.”
“He’s got more combinations than a McDonald’s menu!”
THE VOICE . . . OF THE OLYMPICS
With a career spanning two decades, Schiavello isn’t short of a story or two, but one particular time stands out. “Commentating the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing was the highlight,” he says. “I did all the boxing for 110 countries, so I had an audience of more than one billion people. I commentated on every fight, 272 in all, in 11 days, all on my own. It was the hardest I have ever worked in my life and every night I would get back to my hotel room and be completely drained. But that said, it was the most amazing and intense experience and one giant adrenaline rush.”
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