Issue 031

November 2007

I’ve done some research, prompted by the recent media coverage of this ‘new’ sport called ‘ultimate fighting’. Newspapers, websites and television are all jumping on the anti-MMA (mixed martial arts) bandwagon, so I decided to look into activities carried out in society that are dangerous. The findings of my investigations are quite shocking and if acted upon could change our societies forever. The British Medical Association should sit up and take note. After all, this is the organisation that has been trying to ban boxing since the 80’s and is now focusing it’s attention on MMA.

The studies that I have conducted have not been carried out in the same way as the British Medical Association have conducted theirs regarding MMA. The studies that I have conducted are based on something that the British Medical Association has ignored, namely facts. 

I guess you are all wondering what the major discovery that I have made is? Well, here it is: being born causes more deaths than anything else in society, worldwide. After looking through millions of birth records going back thousands of years I saw that there was a distinct pattern – every single person who has ever been born has died and there is strong evidence to indicate that this trend will continue far into the future. 

Of course this is all ridiculous, although it made me chuckle while I was writing it, but I’m just trying to illustrate how weak, shallow and small-minded the arguments to ban MMA are. 

Here’s a question for the British Medical Association. What is your goal when trying to ban MMA? What rational reasons have you got for focusing your energies into stopping this globally recognised sport? What is the problem? Surely there are so many other issues that you have a duty to address. They seem to be ignoring the drug epidemic that is sweeping the UK and other countries, underage binge drinking and obesity in young people. Hang on a minute, could MMA help address these social issues as well as many others? Of course it could.  

Rather than looking at MMA so negatively, the British Medical Association could take off their blinkers and face the reality that MMA might actually be saving lives. Seriously. MMA could be a way of getting away from drugs and street violence and doing something constructive that could earn you a lot of money and eventually give you the means to help others in similar situations. Have a chat with the guys from Chute Boxe Brazil one day and they will tell you that this is a real scenario, not a fantasy.

You could say that I’m trying to portray MMA as being totally safe and just forming a biased argument to oppose the British Medical Association. Admittedly MMA can be a hazardous activity. Life is hazardous for heavens sake, but we can’t wrap ourselves in cotton wool and hope to never get hurt. Funnily enough, there are probably more injuries in training than there ever will be at actual MMA events. I’m writing this article just two days after the hugely successful UFC 75 in London and I bet all the haters are stuck for words. In fact, as I write this there isn’t a single negative article in any newspaper confirming one of the allegations the British Medial Association were making last week. The press must be gutted. One guy was KO’d briefly at this event. Is that enough to ban the sport? MMA is a spectacle and seems to have the potential for far more injury than there ever is. This is probably what attracts many of the spectators. Motor sports have the potential for some very dramatic crashes, thrills and spills. No one wants to see any of the drivers get hurt but this potential keeps the spectators excited and on the edge of their seats.  

Like many others. in the past I have tried to make MMA look safer by highlighting the dangers of other sports such as boxing, rugby or even fishing. However if you are a fan of MMA you are a fan of sport and sporting entertainment in general, you are a fan of competition and the thrill of putting two teams or individuals against each other to see who will come out on top. Look at how daft the concept of soccer is – the most intellectually superior species on earth, kicking a ball about and then into a net, but it takes over people’s lives and is like a religion to many of them. Sport is good. Long live sport, long live MMA.