Issue 201

January 2024

Sean Strickland makes a lot of headlines with the things he says when he’s got a microphone in his hand, but in the room at Xtreme Couture in Las Vegas, the middleweight contender has become an invaluable voice of support and encouragement.

By E. Spencer Kyte

When Sean Strickland was looking for a new training home in Las Vegas several years ago, Xtreme Couture head man Eric Nicksick got a phone call from one of his idols.

“In the beginning of him coming to Xtreme, I wouldn’t say guys didn’t like him, but (he had a reputation),” began Nicksick. “I remember when Dan Henderson called me and was like, ‘Don’t have him in the gym; that dude is a problem. Dan is like an idol to me, so when you hear it from him, it’s like ‘That must be the case.’”

Strickland had been around the fight game for a while. He began his foray into mixed martial arts in his teens, enjoying early success under the King of the Cage banner in California before graduating to the UFC. He’d made stops at various outposts along the way, including Henderson’s Team Quest facility and Millenia MMA.

If you ask the irascible middleweight, he’ll tell you that he left all those places of his own accord. If you ask the folks at those gyms, they will likely tell you that Strickland was kicked out, bounced for a lack of punctuality, decorum, and generally being a colossal pain in the a**, with the truth falling, as it always does, somewhere in the middle.

“Ultimately, what I brought up to Sean was that ‘you have a clean slate here, but you also have this reputation that hangs over your head as well,’” added Nicksick, who has worked extensively with the 32-year-old, helping shepherd him to one of the biggest upsets of the year in September, when he ventured to Sydney, Australia and earned a unanimous decision win over Israel Adesanya to become UFC middleweight champion.

While the general public is frequently presented with clips of Strickland sharing his unfiltered thoughts and opinions, unconcerned about how they will land with others, or climbing over a row of seats at UFC 296 to mix it up in the crowd with his UFC 297 opponent, Dricus Du Plessis, when you speak to those people that are around him every day — the people in the room at Xtreme Couture — a different image emerges.

“OUR SPECIAL FRIEND”

Brad Tavares is one of the most respected members of the team at Xtreme Couture — a 13-year UFC veteran who has transitioned from being the quiet, young Hawaiian coming into the gym fresh off his appearance on Season 11 of The Ultimate Fighter, eager to learn from the likes of Mike Pyle and Jay Hieron to a 36-year-old stalwart with the second most wins and appearances in the history of the UFC middleweight division.

One of the leaders in the room, Tavares, started building a solid relationship with Strickland long before he moved to Las Vegas and became a full-time fixture in the gym, appreciating his approach inside and outside the cage.

“I always liked the guy. I always liked Sean; I’ve always said that,” said Tavares, who, along with Strickland, Chris Curtis, and Dan Ige, are recognized as captains at the longstanding Sunset Road training hotbed. "I like training with him; he’s always been a good training partner. He’ll push you, and he’ll make you uncomfortable, which is what you need in order to be successful in things like this.

“When he first came over full time — when he moved to Vegas, he was primarily at Syndicate and would come over and do some sparring with us — I know at first his personality, and whatnot rubbed a lot of people the wrong way, and a lot of people were like — I don’t want to say they didn’t like him, though they probably didn’t like him a little bit.”

Tavares couldn't help but laugh.

“He makes people uncomfortable,” he said, resuming his assessment of his fellow middleweight. “But I have always appreciated who he is — his honesty, his straightforwardness. I feel like that’s what the world is missing. Society is missing more people that will tell you like it is.”

DIVISIVE PERSONALITY 

Ige was one of those people who didn’t like Strickland when he first walked through the doors and started turning up routinely.

“I’m the type of guy that gets along with basically anybody,” began the Hawaiian featherweight when asked about his initial impression of his now long-term teammate. “I don’t dislike many people unless you really do something to bug me, and for some reason, Sean was one of those guys where I didn’t like him at first.

“I was just like, ‘This guy is obnoxious. He says random s**t.’ You hear about him getting kicked out of every gym, now he’s going hard on guys, and you start to think, ‘What’s wrong with this guy? He’s just an a*****e, and he’s throwing s**t, he’s yelling, he’s beating up his training partners.’”

Ige paused.

“But he just kind of grows on you.”

Let’s be perfectly clear here: Strickland isn’t putting on an act when he’s out in front of the cameras or has a microphone in his hand. This isn’t a Colby Covington situation where he’s going to be facing off with Du Plessis in Toronto later this month, telling him “I was in character” as the South African challenger stares daggers at him.

He is, without question or debate, outspoken and completely unconcerned about how the things he says or does land with anyone else because they are his genuine thoughts and opinions, and he doesn’t have a filter.

“He’s a South Park episode,” laughed Nicksick, accurately summing up the forward-facing version of Strickland in the most concise way possible.

And while he’s the same way in the gym, speaking his mind and voicing his thoughts whether you want to hear it or not, his teammates have stopped focusing so much on the potentially off-putting words he uses and opted instead to listen to the insights, motivation, and thoughtful direction that lies underneath.

POSITIVE OUTCOMES

“At the end of the day, what I will say is that being a teammate of Sean’s, being a close friend of Sean’s is that he does come from a place of caring, and that’s what I respect the most about him,” said Tavares. “The delivery is still off, but I think people understand now. Every group has that one special friend, and Sean is our special friend.

“There was a little bit of time where he had to grow on people, but I do believe that his delivery has — he’ll still insult you in the same sentence where he’s complimenting you, but I think it has gotten a little better,” laughed Tavares, who registered a unanimous decision win over Chris Weidman at UFC 292 in Boston to close out his 2023 campaign. “Having him in the room and on the mats is always a plus because there will be days where even I’m feeling tired or it’s not been a good day, and this f****r will come in and be like, ‘Alright, Tavares, we’re gonna fight today; are you ready to fight?’ And I’m like, ‘F**k yeah! I guess so.’

“He’ll get your right out of it,” he added. “A guy like him is important, especially in the sport we’re in.”

It took a little longer for Ige to recognize the intention behind what Strickland says in the gym and to see value in his direct, pointed delivery, as the often-quiet Hawaiian would initially get emotional about the dismissive, seemingly insulting way Strickland would speak to fellow competitors, including his close friend and fellow Hawaiian Tavares.

“He used to bug me because if we’re having small talk after sparring and he’s talking to Brad, I’m in the vicinity, and he’d be talking s**t to Brad right to his face, and I would get mad because that’s my dog,” recalled Ige, who posted impressive victories over Damon Jackson and Nate Landwehr to solidify his standing in the 145-pound hierarchy this past year before dropping a close decision to Bryce Mitchell in September.

“He’d be like, ‘Ya see Brad, I used to be afraid of you. You used to be the boogeyman until I started doing this to you, and then you just shut down,’” continued Ige, making his best Strickland impression. “And I’m like, ‘Sean, shut the f**k up! We’re just sparring in there,’ but Brad would never give into that stuff and give a reaction.

“I was reacting because I was getting emotional because he’s talking s**t about my friend, but it’s kind of the truth. Sometimes, the truth hurts, but the truth helps, and he’s just a truthful guy. He’ll tell you what you need to hear. He just wants to go hard and get the best work.”

IT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAY, IT’S HOW YOU SAY IT

We all have those friends and family members who can never seem to say things the right way. They have the best intentions, and internally, what they’re saying makes complete sense, but when it comes out, it lands like a ton of bricks, and everyone else in the room goes quiet.

My mother and mother-in-law both fall into this category, as does the UFC middleweight champion, though, unlike those two prominent ladies in my life, Strickland is working to change how he says things.

“The biggest thing I noticed from him, in the beginning, was his delivery; the way he would say something to a teammate,” began Nicksick, who has taken on a big brother role of sorts with Strickland, putting as much energy into supporting and encouraging him as a man as he does working with him to hone his considerable skills inside the cage. “In a lot of ways, he was right, but it was about the way he would say it, you know?

“I remember we had a wrestling practice, and it was the first time he was training here full-time. He was having a very successful wrestling practice — guys couldn’t take him down or hold him down, he’d keep Granby rolling out or something — and when practice was over, Sean was like, ‘If you guys wanna know how I was kicking your a***s today and beating the s**t out of you today, come here and let me show you what you were doing wrong.’

“Everybody in the room was like ‘piss off.’ Everybody just walked away, and Sean looked at me and was like, ‘I can really help these guys! This is what they were doing, and they could…’ and I said, ‘Lemme give you some advice on your delivery: if you said to those guys something like ‘Great practice — here are some things you did really well; here’s something I think I could help you with,’ they’re probably going to be more apt to listen to you.’ And he was like, ‘That did sound a lot better than the way I said it, huh?’

Nicksick continued, adding, “Over time, I think he started to understand that the way you speak to the guys in the room, if you modify your delivery, they’ll start listening to you because what you’re saying is true, what you’re saying is right; it’s just the way you’re saying it needs to change.”

SMALL PERSONALITY VICTORIES

And by all accounts, those lessons, those conversations about changing up his delivery and making sure the critical pieces of what he’s trying to get across don’t get lost in the sea of cutting remarks and “Sean being Sean” as Nicksick and I have come to call it seems to be working, perhaps even better than anyone could have imagined.

“In the last year or two, we’ve seen him really grow a lot,” offered Tavares. “He’s evolved. He’s still his same self: he’ll still push you, he’ll still call you a p***y, might not always be politically correct with what he’s saying, but everybody sees now that he’s coming from a place of actually caring.

“He’s not just saying this because he wants to be an a*****e or because he wants to be funny — he’s actually telling you because he wants that person to be better. He’s trying to make the people around him better. He’s trying to get the best out of everyone, myself included, and I’ve always appreciated that about him.

“We like to give him s**t because he has become more compassionate,” he continued, laughing. “He’s still him, but he’s more compassionate, and every time we see something like that, we’ll always joke, ‘Where’s Sean? What did you do with him?’”

In addition to showing a — dare I say — softer side in recent years, Ige has also recognized the invaluable coaching insights that the streaking middleweight standout frequently offers up, even when he’s just walking by the cage, watching you work.

“I was sparring the other day, and Sean just happened to walk by, and he started watching and coaching, yelling s**t,” recalled Ige. “I would get in my habits and my groove — I’m just sparring, I’m playing — and he would start yelling s**t.

“‘No jiu jitsu! Don’t be on your back!’

“And he’s right — I shouldn’t be playing around,” he said, shaking his head on the other end of the phone. “I should be getting straight to the point, win and dominate. He makes everyone better, dude. He really does have the best intentions for everyone.

“It’s the delivery, and how do you respond to it? How do you react?” Ige added. “That’s why it took time for me to grow, love, and accept him for who he is because he really means well. Even my wife was like, ‘You know, he comes off as this d***head, but he’s actually pretty respectful.’

“He means well, and I think he has a good heart, but he has demons, and he has a past that drove him to success.”

UNDERSTANDING WHERE HE’S COMING FROM

Strickland has previously spoken a little about his childhood — growing up in an abusive home with an alcoholic father and racist grandfather, which, when paired with antisocial tendencies, anger issues, and a lack of exposure and experience with the broader world, sent him down a Neo-Nazi path that included violent acts and getting bounced out of high school.

There are no excuses for the things Strickland did in his past, though there should be space for understanding and grace — for him and everyone who grows up surrounded by incalculable abuse.

Trauma has a way of stunning development and keeping you guarded. It prompts you to erect walls around yourself for protection and push people away because when all you know is that getting close to people brings hurt, pain, and emotional weight that is difficult to carry, isolating yourself and alienating others is the obvious choice.

While Strickland isn’t that same misguided, traumatized youth of his past, some of the transformation and growth that has come to make him one of the leaders at one of the best gyms in the sport has come from finally recognizing that just as he has the best intentions for everyone else as Ige said, those same people love him, believe in him, and want the best for him as well.

Showing him that and reinforcing it has been one of Nicksick’s primary focuses since the middleweight champion took up full-time residency at Xtreme.

“The last press conference and everything that went on, I felt a shift in him the last week, especially with the stuff with his dad, what Dricus said, and I can tell it bothered him bad,” offered Nicksick.

Towards the end of the press conference, the South African challenger referenced the physical abuse Strickland suffered at the hands of his father, suggesting it will be nothing like the beating he intends to dole out when they face off in the main event of UFC 297 in Toronto. It touched a nerve with Strickland, who fired back and continued shouting at “Stillknocks” as UFC President Dana White faced off the two.

GROWING INTO HIS ROLE

Where some saw Strickland give an angered, emotional reaction, his coach recognized a person slowly getting more comfortable with being open about the trauma he went through and how it’s something that is turning his charge into a beacon of hope for others that have been through similar situations, whether he likes it or not.

“I actually pulled him aside with Danny (Davis Jr., an Xtreme Couture coach and one of Strickland’s corners) before he hit pads, and I said, ‘I want you to know I’m really proud of you.’

“He right away can’t make eye contact with you, and I was like, ‘I’m proud of you, bro. I don’t think you understand this, but I’m telling you this for a reason, as your coach, the same way that Francis inspired a whole continent in Africa and the country of Cameroon, you’re inspiring people that were damaged, misfits, and outcasts due to their upbringing, and kids that were abused.

“They’re connecting with you whether you like it or not, and I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had DMs or messages or conversations with men, women, people that come over to me and say I was raised just like Sean, and he gives me inspiration because it makes me feel like I can do something with my life after what I’ve been through.’

“He wasn’t crying, but you can see him doing one of those, ‘Alright, man — let’s hit pads!’ kind of things, and I was like, ‘I just want you to know that. You being a little vulnerable. Bringing that out is bringing more people to be inspired, so don’t feel like you have to shove that down and hide it; walk around with this damaged mentality. We all know. We all know what you’ve been through. There are a lot of people out there that you’re connecting with that are inspired by your journey, whether you like it or not. I think it’s something you should embrace.’”

When you know where someone is coming from — what they’ve been through, the experiences that molded them — it’s much easier to recognize the defense mechanisms they put in place and afford them space to let you see who they are beyond underneath it all.

Strickland’s teammates gave him that time, and now, while they still take issue with the delivery from time to time, they see him as an invaluable member of the group at Xtreme Couture and someone whose words and actions in the gym are coming from a good place.

“He actually has a good heart,” said Ige, whose initial reluctance makes his backing of Strickland carry even greater weight. “He has good soil — he just didn’t learn things properly about communication.

“But I don’t know. He seems to communicate his thoughts well,” he added. “And f**k, he’s a world champion, so you can’t argue.”